Sexuality, Sensuality & Spirituality

Description:

Come explore the different intersections of sexuality, sensuality, and spirituality in life through structured, confidential group discussion. This discussion group is for folks who are LGBTQ+, spiritual-but-not-religious, sacred BDSM practitioners, sex magick witches, energy workers, Tantrikas, mystics, seekers, philosophers, neuroscientists, and those that are just curious and open-minded.

There were two couples, and me; all younger than my children might be (my daughter is 52); it was interesting to see how focused and empathic they were.

The main topic was chronic pain. There was disussion of coping techniques including attempts to transform it into masochistic pleasure (no one had had much success).

My notes, edited for anonymity:

I tried to give an example of psychic vertical & horizontal split, but hadn't grasped the concepts sufficiently.

Moderator was familiar and described being spanked -- administered as punishment -- up to the age of 12.

Once she asked her Dom for a beating.... something beyond her "comfort level." As it proceded, the onion (I had mentioned the metaphor of "peeling") CRACKED open...to her core; her psyche collapsed. (This was tough listening to)

The Dom stopped immediately and -- she didn't give details -- but comforted her while she went through it. She said she was so grateful he was an older man (I got a very brief glance -- do I project? -- of interest) and knew what to do.

We were nearing the end and, uncomfortable about probing further, I emphasized how impprtant my relationships, both personal & w therapists, have been and are. I explained I view "caring" as synonymous with spirituality and gestured to indicate to them the importance (sanctity, if you will, though I didn't say it) of their relationships. I choked (brought close to tears) as I spoke and mentioned She-of-the-Capri, her Ph.D. and work as my "personal" clinician.

I don't know if they heard the catch in my throat but I could see from their smiling, youthful faces they were hearing me and appreciating the love they shared with their partners (spouses).

The other couple were also sensitive, articulate and wrangling psychological stuff plus chronic pain.

Moderator's spouse made the point that psychological pain can be chronic.

It, the session, was as much therapy as anything, but WAY better than any group I've prev attended.

Their website.

Transitioning

There're many forms of polyamoury and ours involves, for her, moving back and forth. The drastic differences that make it attractive also make transitioning difficult. And it's now time for her to return to her other life. 

Out here she's an intrepid adventurer accompanying me into the wilds to discover nature's beauty. In town we enjoy the symphony, explore museums and attended the orientation and introduction to dungeon etiquette at Desert Dominion.

In her other life she's a petite caperer who frequently cavorts on pickleball courts, swims several times a week and walks and/or bikes some distance every day. She's still inclined to think it a mere trifle to drive across Arizona and halfway across California in one swell foop.

Somehow, in the time between her arrival and next departure she forgets the exhaustion a long drive, at age 73, causes. I'm escorting her partway in order to break it into segments.

At the Buenos Aires National Wildlife trail maintenance event she picked up a tip which gave us a destination a few miles west of Gila Bend. 

Our day began with a bit of a slog as moved from an Airbnb in Tucson back into our vehicles. We DID, however, manage to get out of the Airbnb with ten minutes to spare. 

Though we attained liftoff in good spirits, our spliffoes began to droop as I insisted on stopping at several thrift stores along our exit route. Things wear out and though browsing for replacements can be tedious, the savings are, for me, worth it. This time I got two MUCH-NEEDED gym bags for $3.00 & $2.00 respectively. Unfortunately, it wasn't until 4pm at THE LAST STORE, that we found 'em.

Then came the three-hour drive. The last ten miles were over progressively deteriorating roads until, at 7:00pm, we came to a segment that was, in the dark, intimidating enough to get us to make camp. Though a mere 2.1 miles from our destination, neither of us are so goal-oriented to risk getting stuck in sand and were, at that point, too tired to spend another hour or more navigating unknowns simply to "arrive." Tomorrow, hopefully, is another day. And if not, MASA, the body-retrieval service I've pre-paid for, will come get me.

It was a pleasantly cool evening; we got out the chairs and  enjoyed the stars. Then, after tea, around 9:00 pm., we called it "a day."

Forgotten in the excitement of the evening,

she placed it to be retrieved at my liesure

Last night was my first sleeping flat.

The hip complained and will need cushioning

in the coming days, but the massages

have definitely helped.

Desert Dominion Orientation

The Vice-President of the Board of Directors of Desert Dominion is an AMAZING woman. From the very beginning she met me -- in all my weirdness -- head-on.

She is a retired military sargeant, a sadist, VERY sensitive, has no compunctions about setting me straight...all the while being very open and kind.

Molly leads the Triple S group: Sexuality, Sensuality & Spirituality. She holds a Masters degree in counseling and though she doesn't identify with a specific denomination, she's an ordained minister.

We were impressed by the attire. One young non-binary wore a tight top (black) over their chest, mid-riff tastefully bare. A short, bright-pink skirt with a cute ruffle accentuated their hipless waist. On their feet were black go-go boots ala the 60s. They had several rings, one of which was a large dragon head with a "tooth" that  when they bent their finger could be used to "bite." As we stood in line waiting to sign in, they showed us, and the others around us, how it felt.

There was a very slender "Mistress" all in black. Her short skirt had a subtle sheen, perhaps linen & silk. She wore some jewelry and a thin black scarf loosely thrown around her neck accentuated her long black hair. And there were others. They were all distinctive in their own way and showed little hesitancy about commenting. I'd have liked to have gotten to know more about each of them.

Their website

Naughty Knots Part III

The group was larger this evening, but equally as comfortable as last. 

After a humorous (topless) tutorial on "the zipper" by the female presenter and her adjutant, we were invited  to help ourselves to the equipment -- this was a bondage workshop. 

After a quick glance around disclosed we weren't gonna have to fight for our choice, I practically lifted her out of her chair and flung her onto a nearby (padded) table and had half a zipper in place before you could say Jack Sprat. 

When I paused to look around, I was pleased to see we'd led the way and many others were in various states of disrobement and concentration. The presenters were circulating, answering questions and offering assistance.

The second half was about binding using saran-wrap and how to use different kinds of plastic tape. There were rolls of the yellow CAUTION tape used around open pits and some of the narrow pink used to mark trees and designate routes. Using some of each, I tied her to an a-frame with her hands above her head and wrapped her chest and abdomen in saran-wrap. This was new for us both and she enjoyed it. 

I was first introduced to BDSM in 2004 when a woman in the produce aisle asked me to tie her to her massage table and spank her. Over the years my own proclivity (for dominance) emerged and has developed into an interesting, to me, dimension of my personality. And also over the years, I've been honored to be entrusted in ways I never imagined which has opened doors to ever deeper levels of love and compassion. And, perhaps strangest of all, I discovered my own delight in having a (willing) victim, something I was brought up to never even remotely consider.

Neither of us have strong exhibitionist or voyueristic tendencies so aren't particularly inclined to be in a group, but it's a great way to get new ideas. 

Naughty Knots

I've known of Desert Dominion for a few years but hadn't been able to attend an orientation so thought I was ineligible to participate in their events. This workshop, on the fundamentals of rope bondage, or Shibari, was open to the public -- street legal dress required to the door.

Desert Dominion hosts many events and is a major presence in the Tucson and surrounding areas kink community. The space is about 40' x 40' with an easily accessible bathroom, several couches and comfortable chairs and a variety of devices for restraining "victims."

I've always been a light-weight when it comes to absorbing information. After an hour of the three-hour workshop I was totally saturated and left. 

It was a comfortable, relaxed presentation with strong emphasis on safety, both physical and psychological. The presenter's running commentary, which included a wealth of information, was also, in parts, hilarious. 

As I was leaving, I was gifted, by a man with four hanks of new rope. I hope to put them to use in the near future.

I look forward to returning.