Las Puertas Amarillas

Michelle arrived Sunday afternoon, the 26th. We're at the same Airbnb Kristen and I stayed in a few weeks earlier. It's a few blocks from downtown in a gentrified "barrio."

Parking is by permit and the prevalence of BMWs, Mercedeses and Porsches means Phoebe gets parked in the back of a nearby lot while the 2015 Honda FIT gets pride-of-place on the street.

Since Michelle made the reservation, the lighted poster welcomes her. I prefer to travel incognito, though Chris & Sally, the proprietors, remembered me.

Morning Light

It was melted by the time we emerged.

Sexuality, Sensuality & Spirituality

Description:

Come explore the different intersections of sexuality, sensuality, and spirituality in life through structured, confidential group discussion. This discussion group is for folks who are LGBTQ+, spiritual-but-not-religious, sacred BDSM practitioners, sex magick witches, energy workers, Tantrikas, mystics, seekers, philosophers, neuroscientists, and those that are just curious and open-minded.

There were two couples, and me; all younger than my children might be (my daughter is 52); it was interesting to see how focused and empathic they were.

The main topic was chronic pain. There was disussion of coping techniques including attempts to transform it into masochistic pleasure (no one had had much success).

My notes, edited for anonymity:

I tried to give an example of psychic vertical & horizontal split, but hadn't grasped the concepts sufficiently.

Moderator was familiar and described being spanked -- administered as punishment -- up to the age of 12.

Once she asked her Dom for a beating.... something beyond her "comfort level." As it proceded, the onion (I had mentioned the metaphor of "peeling") CRACKED open...to her core; her psyche collapsed. (This was tough listening to)

The Dom stopped immediately and -- she didn't give details -- but comforted her while she went through it. She said she was so grateful he was an older man (I got a very brief glance -- do I project? -- of interest) and knew what to do.

We were nearing the end and, uncomfortable about probing further, I emphasized how impprtant my relationships, both personal & w therapists, have been and are. I explained I view "caring" as synonymous with spirituality and gestured to indicate to them the importance (sanctity, if you will, though I didn't say it) of their relationships. I choked (brought close to tears) as I spoke and mentioned She-of-the-Capri, her Ph.D. and work as my "personal" clinician.

I don't know if they heard the catch in my throat but I could see from their smiling, youthful faces they were hearing me and appreciating the love they shared with their partners (spouses).

The other couple were also sensitive, articulate and wrangling psychological stuff plus chronic pain.

Moderator's spouse made the point that psychological pain can be chronic.

It, the session, was as much therapy as anything, but WAY better than any group I've prev attended.

Their website.

New Hats

On 22, Feb, they each received a "stampede tie" from Arizona Hatters, the string (laces salvaged from the White's boots) that keeps 'em on in a wind. This involved expert installation of metal eyelets (black one can be seen on the port side one of the straw).

The straw was $5.00 and the fabric (from a Tucson, Goodwill) was $14.00.

The "donut" is from Meow Wolf in Fanta Se. Its pink sprinkles are (inquiring minds had to call to find out) stylized letters Q, the logo for the Quantum Interdimensional Depot, their "facility" in Denver.

I found the purple frawg in a gift shop somewhere intending to gift it to someone. They never appeared and after several years I decided that with my gaping maw and expanding girth I look just like it. Purple has been my fav color since I noticed hyacinths as I walked to first grade in Rolla, Missouri.

9.Apr.23 - The straw lasted two months. The stampede string ripped rhrough, cutting a gash along the base of the brim that made the string, and thus the hat, useless. The decal transferred to the other.

Sahuarita - Road To the East

Ragnar & DuPlessey's complete video is below mine. And then, of course, the Great Taj! 

The view from camp.

The Morander Bros

I want flames on MY accordion!

Retirement of The Whites

Whether it's eating too much without enough exercise, edema or both, there's no room for my feet in them anymore. And there's no room for anything, or nearly anything, that isn't serving its purpose.

Throughout my life I never imagined I'd own a pair of $500.00 boots, but after three years and three pairs, including a pair of Danners, at the end of 2016 I decided to go for it. It was 2, February, 2017 that I posted about getting them.

I never tired of the sensation of slipping into their glove-like fit. The wide soles gave me stability as my balance grew less sure. Capable of striding through Cactus Land with impunity, they were worth every penny.

I did save the laces.

Ms. Parry & Mark Lawn

They stopped and graciously accepted an Advocates For the West brochure. On their way out I begged a tour. Mark said he was pleased with the RAM 5500 diesel, but thought the 3500 sufficient for most purposes.

The S280, former military shelter, was designed to fit inside a container -- easily shipped and easily hidden. Mark added the utilities and had lived in it for seven years while still working. He carries 50 gallons of water, 450 watts of solar (plenty, he said) with which he runs two refrigerators, an Isotherm and an Engle. I believe he said the Isotherm has a "swing motor," a motor with only one moving part. He said ARB refrigerators are similar but use a Copeland motor. 

I think he said the rig, sans water, crossed the scale at 17,000 pounds. It appeared to have an air-conditioner & heating system.

The "cubic mini" is made in Canada and efficiently heats the interior.

Indoor plumbing

Whiteboard

Central Control

Galley

There's a double bed forward of the wood stove with compressed gas lifts that enable easy access with one hand. Below, amidships, are the two large water tanks.

West of Gila Bend

We could fit three of her into my white shirt she's wearing.

Curious phenomena

Transitioning

There're many forms of polyamoury and ours involves, for her, moving back and forth. The drastic differences that make it attractive also make transitioning difficult. And it's now time for her to return to her other life. 

Out here she's an intrepid adventurer accompanying me into the wilds to discover nature's beauty. In town we enjoy the symphony, explore museums and attended the orientation and introduction to dungeon etiquette at Desert Dominion.

In her other life she's a petite caperer who frequently cavorts on pickleball courts, swims several times a week and walks and/or bikes some distance every day. She's still inclined to think it a mere trifle to drive across Arizona and halfway across California in one swell foop.

Somehow, in the time between her arrival and next departure she forgets the exhaustion a long drive, at age 73, causes. I'm escorting her partway in order to break it into segments.

At the Buenos Aires National Wildlife trail maintenance event she picked up a tip which gave us a destination a few miles west of Gila Bend. 

Our day began with a bit of a slog as moved from an Airbnb in Tucson back into our vehicles. We DID, however, manage to get out of the Airbnb with ten minutes to spare. 

Though we attained liftoff in good spirits, our spliffoes began to droop as I insisted on stopping at several thrift stores along our exit route. Things wear out and though browsing for replacements can be tedious, the savings are, for me, worth it. This time I got two MUCH-NEEDED gym bags for $3.00 & $2.00 respectively. Unfortunately, it wasn't until 4pm at THE LAST STORE, that we found 'em.

Then came the three-hour drive. The last ten miles were over progressively deteriorating roads until, at 7:00pm, we came to a segment that was, in the dark, intimidating enough to get us to make camp. Though a mere 2.1 miles from our destination, neither of us are so goal-oriented to risk getting stuck in sand and were, at that point, too tired to spend another hour or more navigating unknowns simply to "arrive." Tomorrow, hopefully, is another day. And if not, MASA, the body-retrieval service I've pre-paid for, will come get me.

It was a pleasantly cool evening; we got out the chairs and  enjoyed the stars. Then, after tea, around 9:00 pm., we called it "a day."

Forgotten in the excitement of the evening,

she placed it to be retrieved at my liesure

Last night was my first sleeping flat.

The hip complained and will need cushioning

in the coming days, but the massages

have definitely helped.

Mountains

Do you mountains laugh at us,

We humans who are so temporary?

Our paltry concerns,

Our poignant compassions.

Do you feel the exquisitness of love?

Orgasm?

Do you envy our senescence?

Do you extend your beauty to us

As a gift

That we accept and that augments our Ecstasy?

'Til death takes us beyond.

Tomorrow I'll accompany her West for a day or two as she returns to her other life.

Desert Dominion Orientation

The Vice-President of the Board of Directors of Desert Dominion is an AMAZING woman. From the very beginning she met me -- in all my weirdness -- head-on.

She is a retired military sargeant, a sadist, VERY sensitive, has no compunctions about setting me straight...all the while being very open and kind.

Molly leads the Triple S group: Sexuality, Sensuality & Spirituality. She holds a Masters degree in counseling and though she doesn't identify with a specific denomination, she's an ordained minister.

We were impressed by the attire. One young non-binary wore a tight top (black) over their chest, mid-riff tastefully bare. A short, bright-pink skirt with a cute ruffle accentuated their hipless waist. On their feet were black go-go boots ala the 60s. They had several rings, one of which was a large dragon head with a "tooth" that  when they bent their finger could be used to "bite." As we stood in line waiting to sign in, they showed us, and the others around us, how it felt.

There was a very slender "Mistress" all in black. Her short skirt had a subtle sheen, perhaps linen & silk. She wore some jewelry and a thin black scarf loosely thrown around her neck accentuated her long black hair. And there were others. They were all distinctive in their own way and showed little hesitancy about commenting. I'd have liked to have gotten to know more about each of them.

Their website

Tucson Botanical Gardens

 

Marina

The hip pain has been interfering with my sleep but no one would work on me cuz of the shingles. 

Dorothy Hodges called me back about 45 minutes later & suggested Marina. Marina said she'd had chicken pox and wasn't worried.

Over the course of the time (on her table) she nagged me about how it wasn't time for me to die.

Her new rug from rugs.com

I told about meeting Wayne a couple of days ago who'd had bypass surgery done by Dr. Raj Bose and claimed he'd recovered in a week. But, I explained to Marina, I had nowhere to stay or anyone to care for me while I recovered.

Marina said she's a trained medical-grade care-giver and would rent me a room for $500.00 a month and help me while I was recovering. 

Her partner in San Diego, who owns a home there, has been living in a van for years and has been encouraging her to join him. But her mom bought her this nice house and she doesn't know what to do with it.

I'm gonna see if I can get an audience w Dr. Bose & find out what bypass surgery costs. In the meantime, I may rent the room from Marina so I don't have to commute from the wilds of Sahuarita (an hour each way) to partake of Tucson culture.

There's an ichibana festival coming up the 23rd through March 5th and the Gem & Mineral show is in full swing and if Marina fixes my leg I could start swimming again.

Naughty Knots Part III

The group was larger this evening, but equally as comfortable as last. 

After a humorous (topless) tutorial on "the zipper" by the female presenter and her adjutant, we were invited  to help ourselves to the equipment -- this was a bondage workshop. 

After a quick glance around disclosed we weren't gonna have to fight for our choice, I practically lifted her out of her chair and flung her onto a nearby (padded) table and had half a zipper in place before you could say Jack Sprat. 

When I paused to look around, I was pleased to see we'd led the way and many others were in various states of disrobement and concentration. The presenters were circulating, answering questions and offering assistance.

The second half was about binding using saran-wrap and how to use different kinds of plastic tape. There were rolls of the yellow CAUTION tape used around open pits and some of the narrow pink used to mark trees and designate routes. Using some of each, I tied her to an a-frame with her hands above her head and wrapped her chest and abdomen in saran-wrap. This was new for us both and she enjoyed it. 

I was first introduced to BDSM in 2004 when a woman in the produce aisle asked me to tie her to her massage table and spank her. Over the years my own proclivity (for dominance) emerged and has developed into an interesting, to me, dimension of my personality. And also over the years, I've been honored to be entrusted in ways I never imagined which has opened doors to ever deeper levels of love and compassion. And, perhaps strangest of all, I discovered my own delight in having a (willing) victim, something I was brought up to never even remotely consider.

Neither of us have strong exhibitionist or voyueristic tendencies so aren't particularly inclined to be in a group, but it's a great way to get new ideas. 

Shingles

I think it's peaked, but the last week or so has been fraught with weirdnesses...and pain. I finally realized it was ANOTHER bout of shingles!

It's gotten to where I attribute everything to my heart condition. So when my feet & toes went numb I figured it was poor circulation. Maybe so, but as the fierceness of the burning in the thighs subsides, sensation is returning to my feet. And the hip pain, so bad at times it hurt to stand, is also slowly diminishing.

Reviewing my post from last time, March 17, 2022, I had some of the same symptoms.

The fatigue is the weirdest. I'd forgotten how exhausted I felt throughout the several weeks the last episode lasted. Then too, I blamed it on inadequate circulation. Now, as I feel a bit of strength returning, I'm thinking maybe I will enter that 10k triathalon.

Death: It's Just the Beginning

Brought to my attention by none other than the inimitable, Ms. Cook.

Horror short film Dead Hearts

Info about the director and cast.

Empirita Rd - West of Benson Off I-10

I bought some cheap slipons to wear when I have to go out in the night to yell at the bears and squashed down the heels so I can slip into 'em like "scuffs." 

Today the edema subsided enough that with the heel pulled up I could reach down and wiggle 'em on.  Kristen's pressure-point massage, painful as all get out during ministration, worked its magic on my hip & with the addition of several spritzings of 7-Dragons analgesic (dit da jow), 

I was able to walk to the top of a hill -- 400 feet one way! -- where there's signal.

I'm having a bad attack of shingles in my legs with peripheral nueropathy in my feet and a burning sensation on my thighs when the cloth of my pants touch, but it's too cold to take them off.

Morning coffee

The cutting board was a wedding gift to Mom from German cousins. The salt & pepper blend to the left of my cup is for the hard-boiled egg. Note back-scratcher behind cup. Zach Hively's latest "slim volume," titled *Owl Poems,* is in the lower left.

Bobcat? Poodle?