Dragoons

 

Edema

Why can't I get into my boots? It mustuh been that bag of gummi worms three weeks ago. 

Then, this morning, my foot was noticeably disfigured and my thigh had swelled by a third. I'm obese, but this weight gain was WAY too sudden. Home remedy for edema is to elevate the limb(s) for an hour.

The nueropathy in my feet and in the fingers of my right hand has been unrelenting. I can only walk about 600 feet, round trip. I increased my meds from two times a day to every 7 hours.

What next? Do I wait to find out? The ongoing question.

Fidelity

Early on, even before any awareness of

polyamoury, fidelity seemed a senseless term.

Dependant upon a view toward the future, it

smacked of yet another of the questionable ideas

Buddhism was purported to cure. I credited it, in

the (alleged) contemporary mind, to Puritanism

and the general influence of christianity. Nuff said.

It's A Carrot

At the tender age of 16, I adopted Waiting For Godot as my bible. I interpreted the scene wherein Estragon asks Vladimir for a carrot as a statement, perhaps a parody, about desire and motivation.

In my 40s, i leaped from bed each morning, often as early as 3 a.m. The "carrot" was contemporary art.

Sunset

My days of leaping are past and motivation is a ridiculous term. Now, with each awakening, I sometimes find some enthusiasm. If I contemplate meaning, there's wonder at the incomprehensible unknown, sprinkled, maybe, with some curiosity: What chance circumstance might occur today to inflect my psyche? 

The spectrum of my emotions continues to expand as love, in its myriad manifestations, deepens.

Mowing my way through a bag of carrots, I tossed the stub in the general direction of infinity. It caught on the wire. Jung is chuckling.

Casa de Puertas Amarillas

 

I've been lucky in love.

January 22nd

Univ of AZ Art Museum

 

Click or tap on images to largen,

but it takes you out of the post and can be annoying

A Wonderful Day!

Maestro Gomez led the Tucson Symphony Orchestra (TSO) through an astounding performance of the overture to Der Meistersinger followed by several of Wagner's leider. Then came Beethoven's 9th symphoby with an 80-member chorus. 

All of it was world-class. The ovation was rousing but I was surprised to see many did not recognize the quality of the experience. Oh, well.

I hooted, hollered and coaxed a few more to their feet by shouting, "If you're not standing, you don't know what you just heard.

Packed house.

Dinner was Japanese at Yoshimotu. It was WAY over-rated. An example of people applauding too loudly out of lack of experience. We're slowly learning not to rely on other peoples' reviews. But the stout beer was good and we had a splendid time discussing the performance.

She then hung on the last minutes of the score between the 49ers & the Texas somebodies. Myself, I pride in having gotten through life with only about ten minutes of football; soccer, maybe 45.

A wonderful day!

She's Here!!!

 

Here was less than a mile from "the bog" on State Trust Land east of Marana. It appeared to my wuss eyes such a formidable obstacle that while awaiting her arrival I created a road around it.

Returning to the site after having gone back to camp to retrieve my shovel, I was stunned to see her coming around a turn. 

She'd driven through "the bog" with nothing more than a brief stop to switch into 4wd and was now wondering where the "big obstacle" was.

The Quilt

 

Roadwork

The only time it's "manageable" is when it's wet. 

After two days of rain it's like wet cement. When cars come through it squishes out from under the sides of the tires. I scrape it flat and do what I can to fill the holes. Just call me Sisyphus.

One has to take one's exercise where one finds it.

BEFORE Cleaning the lens

AFTER Cleaning

Sunset

I'd likely miss out on this if I lived inside.

Pre-Departure Gobloots

The plan, such as planning goes for those of us who're "advancing in years," was to leave tomorrow. But an attack of the Gobloots have me encouraging her to consider a day of rest...to let things clear.

Here's her description of the moment...

The winds are blustery 

and the clouds dramatic. 

The sun on meadows

across the way

has been shining emerald. 

The fresh air is a balm.

In polyamory the transition is often fraught with blustery. Our lives are complex and leaving for an unknown amount of time brings up all kinds of emotions.

It can take years to believe that your partner, knowing  they miss you, will still be okay.

The anticipation of being together again, even with frequent interim communication, induces an almost unbearable level of excitement. Absence DOES make the heart grow fonder.

The adage that the honeymoon only lasts two years has no validity. At our age the complexities are, after six and a half years, just becoming known; lying side-by-side is almost overwhelming.

Creosote...or A Botanical Interlude

Images

Though it is a native of the region, creosote is also regarded as invasive, and the plants tends to spread into soil that has been disturbed or into areas that've been overgrazed by livestock.

Their offspring are clones of the previous plant, meaning that a colony of creosote bushes is a single organism.

At about 90 years old, a plant will crown and then die, leaving a new plant spreading out from the old one. One seed will create numerous crown stems, which create a colony.

Image may be copyrighted

The oldest known colony is the “King Clone,” which is located in the Mojave Desert in California and is believed to be almost 12,000 years old, making it one of the oldest living organisms on Earth.

Creosotes have learned (plants are sentient!) to extend their lives by storing and preventing water loss by coating their leaves with a waxy film.

Creosotes help to prevent erosion and are home and food base for over 60 species of insects and small creatures including beetles, millipedes, mice, jackrabbits and kangaroo rats. They're also the only food source for 22 species of bees, which get their food from the yellow flowers they put on throughout the year. The bees then help pollinate other plants. Imagine what would happen to the food chain if the creosotes were to disappear!

Source: https://pitchstonewaters.com/creosote-bush-an-unassuming-but-ancient-form-of-life-all-around-us/

Naughty Knots

I've known of Desert Dominion for a few years but hadn't been able to attend an orientation so thought I was ineligible to participate in their events. This workshop, on the fundamentals of rope bondage, or Shibari, was open to the public -- street legal dress required to the door.

Desert Dominion hosts many events and is a major presence in the Tucson and surrounding areas kink community. The space is about 40' x 40' with an easily accessible bathroom, several couches and comfortable chairs and a variety of devices for restraining "victims."

I've always been a light-weight when it comes to absorbing information. After an hour of the three-hour workshop I was totally saturated and left. 

It was a comfortable, relaxed presentation with strong emphasis on safety, both physical and psychological. The presenter's running commentary, which included a wealth of information, was also, in parts, hilarious. 

As I was leaving, I was gifted, by a man with four hanks of new rope. I hope to put them to use in the near future.

I look forward to returning.

 

Airing the Quilt

 

They don't make sleeping bags, not, at least, down sleeping bags, for people my size. I decided on a twin size quilt.

After several HOURS online comparing quality, I ordered the $800.00, offset-box, cold-sleeper (an extra ounce of down) model from Feathered Friends in Seattle. They said it'd take a few weeks.

That was 2020 and The Pandemic caused my investments to suddenly tank. A week later, with deep chagrin, I cancelled it.

This year for Christmas She-of-the-Capri bought me a twin-size from the Canadian Hutterites. It's changed my life...and the whole experience of sleeping.

Before, my layering began with a rectangular Slumberjack. On top of that I spread, quilt-like, a thin, hi-tech quallofil bag that the zipper had given out on.  On top of that came an old down sleeping bag I lucked into for $8.00 at the Animal Humane store in Hailey, Idaho. It served quite well until the zipper broke, but then it too got used quilt-like. But when the baffles stitching started coming out, the down insisted on moving to the outer edges. At first each night was toasty. But as gravity worked its magic, their nylon surfaces slid hither & yon and each time I was awakened by the cold, it was a bit like herding eels to get them all back in line.. 

All that is past. The hip pain has forced me into the drivers seat where, in a semi-recline, I stuff the old down bag around my feet and use it to cover me up to my hips.

The Hutterite comes over like a cloud. And though I miss beong able to lay on my side and read, the quilt is so soft that as I pull it over me all I can think of is the fur between her legs.

I've looked at clouds from both sides

Donut Pride

I've been anticipating some mail from Ms. Cook. In with my birthday & christmas card was the perfect embellishment for my new hat. 

NOW my wardrobe is complete.

Ariel & Robert's $3k R.V.

If, by some chance you read THIS post, you may have been swept up in my enthusiasm surrounding the potential of providing a mansion for Ariel, a homeless woman who's been living in her 2004 Honda Civic for the past several years.

Having donned my shining armor, I rode forth with fanfare & pennants fluttering in the light, morning breeze, the plume atop my helmet jauntily waving.

Here're pictures of the $3,000.00 R.V.

Tap images to enlargen 

Hidden by the steering wheel

 is the carburator with missing air filter

Ed, the fellow showing it to me, said it has a good engine & transmission.

The black pipe along the back wall at the right was the sink drain.

Basically, to be generous, it's a box truck

with some cabinets, windows and large holes

where the heater & other stuff used to be.

Three grand?! And he said it with a straight face!

the windows are intact.

Maybe, in my younger day I might have tackled it. But even then I doubt I'd have forked over more than a few hundred for it.

As my cat Sophie, a Mergers, Acquisitions & Hostile Takeovers specialist used to say, "There's a sucker born every minute." She delighted in selling the hapless spiders the corner behind the komode and next to the bathtub. Their eyes widened at the prospect of "beachfront property" and it was too late once she had their signature.

 

Sahuarita Mélange

 Sunset

Sunrise

Light on the Shoulders

Light on the Tippy-Tops

Bizzaro Secrets & Mazzy Starr

Though they don't give any indication of who or where from, the 'stats' show which posts have attracted attention. Yesterday it was Two Worth Considering.

One was a post by The Marginalian and the other was to Bizzaro's website.

Tired from yesterday's viewing of The R.V. and the 9pm arrival at camp after an evening of laundry meant most of today was spent horizontal.

A friend, appreciative of my ??? on the accordion, suggested accompanying Laurie Anderson. Some how I segued to Ms. Star where I discovered use of the black keys (it's a piano model).

https://www.bizarro.com/secret-symbols

I gave this one to Michelle last Solstice.

Champion Cat Rescuer

Mr. Stomach says, "I'm bigger!"

Mazzy Star - Into Dust

Keats/Brahms - Making Soul

    

Tap to Enlargen

Brahms Concerto in D

Itzak Perlman, 1978

(remastered)

$5.00 - Check It Out

A month or so ago the $250.00 (felt) Stetson I got in a thrift shop for $10.00 finally gave up its ghost.

Today, after WEEKS of arduous searching I finally found a straw one at Goodwill. Although I've known all my life it's important to blend in, I've never been successful at it. But I enjoyed the "Jed Klampet" look of the Stetson,esp the hole in the front of the crown.

Out West it's a man's hat that distinguishes him. The plebes wear ball caps but the real men wear a cowboy hat. And that doesn't include the canvas wannabes from Ace Hardware or REI. 

When not being worn, the hat holds pride of place center dashboard. Clearly visible to oncoming motorists, it serves similarly to the way Harley drivers give their little waves of acknowledgement to each other.

I like to think it imparts enough incongruity to our general presence to evoke a smile now & then.

Practicing the pre-expectoration pucker

l

El Caporal

https://www.hats.com/caporal-western

Today's brim adjustment

I'm working on a patch, an emblem

and maybe a brooch to go on the front.

Maybe a big purple "H" followed by "etero" extending around the side...

since "orientation" seems to want

flaunting these days.

I am appreciating the eye shade.

9.Apr.23 update - It lasted two months, barely.

Sunset - Sahuarita

 

Bday & Christmas Card

 

Ariel

Early last Spring on my way to Albuquerque I went to the Quebradas Backcountry to find a campsite. There's an overlook I'd used before and it was there I saw her, playing with a puppy. Something prompted me to ask if she planned to stay the night. After she confirmed my suspicion, I went to find someplace else.

The next day we somehow got into conversation and she showed a tire that was at the end of its life. I suggested we go into town to find someone to help but she said she couldn't as she was on her way to a meeting.

As I was getting up the next morning I saw her wave as she went by, but I knew she couldn't see me behind the tinted glass. I went on to Abq & completely forgot about her. Then, yesterday, January 2nd, a text came in asking if I was still out here.

A friend had encouraged her to contact me. The Honda Civic she's been living in for the past 3 or 4 years is giving out and her mechanic recently suggested she look for a new vehicle.

I'd noticed a Ford van at Sahuarita Auto Repair for $3,000.00. A few days ago the usually open gates were closed and there was a sign with some phone numbers. Google said the business was permanently closed. When I finally got through to the owner he said he'd be right out.

Leading the way was Robert, the soon-to-be owner. After learning the van won't start, I explained the situation & asked if he had anything else. Robert said he has an '89 R.V. that is a single-owner vehicle he bought to fix up for himself. It's in good condition but has been sitting for five years and needs some work. And now, with the new business, he won't have time to use it. He said it has good tires and he'll sell it for $3,000.00, which would include the cost of getting it running.

I told him I could give him a thousand dollars but I didn't know where I'd get the rest. (My brother-in-law filed my State taxes last year and I got a refund of $850.00 so I almost have it.) Robert said he rents R.V. spaces and that's where the rig is. He said Ariel could rent the space and live in it while we're finding the rest of the money.

I'm gonna go see it Saturday and probably cinch the deal. I haven't in past years, moved this quickly, but time is running short these days. Ariel is excited and making plans to come here from Lemitar, New Mexico, where she's been sleeping on a concrete floor in a shed.

Her sleeping spot

She's around my age and is sensitive to electromagnetic waves. She avoids going into the nearby town of Socorro during times when there's a high demand for electricity. She says she can feel the increase in power; it wreaks havok with her system and is disabling.

 

The carpet she sleeps on

She is also sensitive to certain emanations from rocks and avoids some highways as the mineral deposits are disturbing. She said iron helps protect her and she was comfortable when she was able to camp in a vehicle recycling center (junk yard) sometime in the past. She has a little under $1,000.00 a month and still owes $5,000.00 on the 2004 Civic.

I...we, may need your help soon.

The Gift Of Time

I once asked my philosophy professor what was most valuable. "Time," he said. A month later his car went off the freeway, over an embankment and he had infinity. Some said it was suicide, that he'd discovered his wife was having an affair.

                 ------------    --------------   --------------

"May this year be splendid," she wrote.

Yes....splendid. That's the way we like it.

For about a year, coffee disagreed with the heart meds so severely I had to give it up. Lately, every other day or so, I've been able to drink an ounce; it's superb. Now, back under my new, down quilt, this is, at least when soloing, as warm & cozy as it gets.

The wind is picking up. The forecast was for rain so all my luggage had to be piled under plastic. I even managed a late afternoon "bidness" to avoid having to go out in the morning dank. So far, so good.

I'm increasingly grateful for the time. I get to delve deeper as -- at the same time -- I lose contact with a broader knowing. The trade-off is for simpler, more child-like feelings. But they're nuanced by an adult perspective and I'm able to appreciate the subtlties even more.

                      ----------       -----------    -------------

There's a clarity in the mornings that's been emerging these last few months. The nightmares have morphed into entertaining movies...evidence of fundamental shifts.

I look foward to using the evening "lows," a symptom of tiredness, to suss out "unfinished business" as Kübler-Ross calls it. It's been interesting to see how her (she-of-the-Capri) listening -- unconditional regard Rogers calls it -- has/does somehow shifted/shift things so they can move on through...or become movies.

My physician once asked if I were having any twinges. When I replied in the negative he didn't say anything further...and I didn't think to ask. Now, perhaps, the answer is self-evident.

I mention it to track the process...I've had sufficent drama, thank you. Still, it's annoying to see how little support there is. Much of the research in psychedelics is in helping terminal cancer patients get over the fear of death, but I've yet to hear of it for us coronary folks. 

I've interviewed five Death Duolas. One wanted to help me find God. The others offered help in writing a will, filing advance directives and counseling the bereaved. The dying, poor devils, are on their own.