When It Rains

Ah, whim. There's nothing quite like it.

The forecast at Price was for four days of showers. With visions of Cleveland haunting, I hightailed it south where things were supposed to be drier.

I got a severe weather warning for flash floods in my area. I've been out here often enough to know how quickly the water can rise (see: https://newmexnomad.blogspot.com/2014/07/flash-flood-on-highway-285-new-mexico.html?m=1  ). But it's at these times that the landscape acquires depth.

They blow through, sometimes violently, 

for around twenty minutes.

Then it begins to clear.

And then comes the sunset

The Problem Eye

Same ole, same ole. I need a cornea transplant and a cataract removed; it's not feasable with my lifestyle. 

He prescribed atropine and ice packs for the pain.

He's a little older than I, now only working half-days. His substantial paunch was duly noted by Mr.Stomach who felt a bit of pride being in the presence of one of his own. 

File Portrait (Mr. Nose)

The line is from folding the paper.

One of his awards was for One of the Best Physicians in the Nation for 2005. The staff was superb....Rocky Mountain Eye Associates.

Waiting

I have an appointment tomorrow with a cornea specialist.

After deploying the "awning," it's quite pleasant inside. It's too hot to amble, but the ATVs have come and gone. It's interesting how few come out to the fringes....thank god.

It's a splendid view, with nary the smallest bush behind which to attend to "bidness." Ah, well. I can at least hope to be an object of entertainment.

The next video is from the end of my "amble." Some days I get further.  But I like the rocks at the beginning of this one.

Nevers & Smith

It was Tuesday and the eye still hurt. I decided to have a look; it was bad. 

Bartholomew Canyon

I picked an opthamologist off the web and after explaining the receptionist asked, "Can you be here in twenty minutes?" As luck would have it, I could.

Dr. Nevers agreed "That's an angry-looking eye." Dr. Robert Smith, the opthamologist, concurred. I spent the afternoon trying to get the meds they prescribed. It turned out Walmart couldn't get 'em.

Closer to Town

Next day, at CVS, they were amazing and by 1:30 I was dosed. I repaired to The Wilds to await the followup.

Yesterday Dr. Nevers referred me to Dr. Charlton, a corneal specialist.

A Venerable Stump

Lucking out again, I secured an appointment for Monday at 3:30. Time enough to bathe and drive the 45 miles into Salt Lake City.

I've known for years I've needed a cornea transplant. It's been interesting to find several folks willing, but when I went to Stanford, out by San Francisco, the surgeon, a man of integrity, said to call him if I ever decided to live inside. It seems my lifestyle is too dirty. (The others were, apparently, eager for the money.) 

My heart's -- three-blocked-arteries -- condition precludes the option; they say I wouldn't survive the anesthesia.

I'm hoping Dr. Charlton will have something to quell the pain next time it decides to act out.

Phoebe's New Shoe

Can/do folks who're blind feel the clouds, the colors of a leaf, the mountains' distant ramparts?

Tracks

Perhaps it's a proclivity, but the desert offers me more variety of entertainments.

I set up the trail camera this evening.

It's a windy place.

The heat means staying in the shade most of the day.

By late afternoon, when I went out again, they were gone.

Antonito, Colorado

We, Michelle and I, take vacations together. On this trip, we were going to Salida, Colorado. We were exploring the town before moving into the Indiana Jones Bed & Breakfast when

we discovered this monument to Jesus.

Montello

Every day's an adventure.

I'd picked three places off Interstate 80 between Wendover and Salt Lake City that I wanted to visit, but something called me to Montello.

Wiki listed it as having two bars and a gas-station/store with around 30 people.

I had several books on the dashboard to donate and turned off at the sign that pointed toward the post office. A green soccer-mom van was coming toward me with the driver's window down; I flagged it down. I explained about the books and she said there wasn't a library but they'd just, after eight years, reopened the school. I started to hand the books out to her for perusal and she got out. 

She was large, wearing a Sturgis t-shirt and with teethless gums was smoking a cigarette.

I told how the collection of Russian fox tales was illustrated with wood-block prints and how the tale of the Ghost cat illustrations were done in a classical style with a calligraphic influence and depicted a Japan that was likely long gone. She got It, and clutching the books to her ample bosom told of an interesting house around the corner and down the street.

She said his name was Jerry and he used to open the house to the public but I could wander around and wouldn't get shot.

I loudly called his name a few times but no one came forth.

Poetry

The tidbit below came from an article by Blake Smith, a Fulbright Scholar in North Macedonia.

"The challenge of poetry is to restore the broken unity of the world by clearing language of its cliched distractions and letting us, thinking and speaking afresh, discover that we are the apertures into and from which the world, in its wholeness, ceaselessly pours."

You can read the full article here:

https://www.tabletmag.com/sections/arts-letters/articles/beyond-poetry-laura-riding

My thanks to She of the Capri.

(You may wanna remember the above when some idgit standing next to you looks up at the stars and says s/he/they/it feels small.)

Bee Girl

In case this video gets disappeared, it's of the tapdancing bee girl who enjoys reading.

Blind Melon - No Rain

Oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh

All I can say is that my life is pretty plain
I like watching the puddles gather rain
And all I can do
Is just pour some tea for two
And speak my point of view
But it's not sane
It's not sane

I just want someone to say to me
Oh, oh, oh, oh
I'll always be there when you wake, yeah, yeah
You know I'd like to keep my cheeks dry today, hey
So stay with me and I'll have it made (I'll have it made)

And I don't understand why I sleep all day
And I start to complain that there's no rain
And all I can do is read a book to stay awake
And it rips my life away, but it's a great escape
Escape
Escape
Escape

All I can say is that my life is pretty plain
You don't like my point of view and I'm insane
It's not sane
It's not sane

I just want someone to say to me
Oh, oh, oh, oh
I'll always be there when you wake, yeah, yeah
You know I'd like to keep my cheeks dry today, hey
So stay with me and I'll have it made

I'll have it made (I'll have it made)
And I'll have it made (I'll have it made)
Oh no, no
You know we're really gonna
Really gonna have it made
You know we'll have it made

(I'll have it made)
(I'll have it made)
(I'll have it made)
(I'll have it made)

Songwriters: פורר טל, Graham,glen, Hoon,richard Shannon, Smith,eric Bradley, Stevens,thomas Rogers, Thorn,christopher John.

For non-commercial use only.

Data From: Musixmatch

Rain

We started the day with Irish coffee made with Jameson and chased it with Mennonite tomatoes sauteed with Jimmy Dean pork sausage (heresy R Us!)

Having started we saw no reason to stop until nap time rolled around.

The Granite Mountains (to the east)

Those hay fields in the far middle distance suck up the water from salmon creek which did, before livestock took over, have salmon in it.

The next morning, the area was blanketed

with a beautiful fog.

R2D Debreather II - Soda Lime

As you may have read on previous posts, I contacted Richard Avocet about the possibility of the soda lime cannisters of my R2D having absorbed all the CO2 they could. He confirmed my surmisal and sent this link

https://jorvet.com/product/jorvet-soda-lime-3-lb

In the process of placing my order for the 3-lb bag, I was asked if I wanted full or empty canisters. Thus, for those of you who own an R2D, the link above is a confirmed (by me) resource for renewing the soda lime in the cannisters or purchasing already filled replacement cannisters.

Despite Exit International withdrawing the chapter on the Debreather II from the Peaceful Pill Handbook, it's MY feeling that this is still the most efficacious device currently available.

Be advised...

I initially placed my order online but was soon contacted by a company representative who said I needed to place my order through their telephone ordering system in order to have it shipped via USPS.

Because I'm nomadic, I get my mail through GENERAL DELIVERY. Jorgensen Labs normally ships via United Parcel Service (UPS). Some post offices (in the U.S.) will only accept mail that is shipped via the U.S. Postal Service (USPS). There may be other caveats having to do with post office boxes, but the representatives I communicated with were very helpful.

The replacement soda-lime arrived without a hitch (problem).

Southward Ho!

It suddenly got chilly up in them thar hills. Cold wuss that I am...

This is the Malad River just below Bliss, Idaho. You can still see into the gorge when you drive over the bridge so I took the first right. It led to a rafting and kayak take-out/put in place with some nice scrub oaks for shade.

I'd just completed assembling my sandwich when the first boatload landed. It was a happy scene and I got to participate...marginally, not that I wanted more, but I was awake and right next to the ramp so it was fun.

But they kept coming....OVERLAND! A trailer with a large raft pulled up with about a dozen youngsters all primed for water activity. I can only take so much.

Up on top the road looked to continue on the other side of the highway. That's where I took the above video...at what appeared to be a power station. This time of year there should've been salmon leaping and cavorting in the rapids with BEARS prowling the shores and arguing over the best spots. Alaska maybe?

Still, it's pretty water. And Miracle Hot Springs is just down the road in Hagerman. 

But the friggin' pie store had just closed. And to add insult, the old guy, he could've been a year or two younger than me, said their strawberry-rhubarb was really good.

Ah, well. It's not like I *need* another  pie on my waist. But it's a tragedy; nothing, of course, compared to Greg's leg, but still. 

Technical Issue: The Tarpaulin

Perhaps it's having, yet again, survived. Ignoring, for the moment, the ambivalence, the residual affect from the LSD -- which, I have to add, is in evidence for several days, maybe weeks --  there's a willingness, to digress from The Path of Navel Gazing.

Years ago Art, I settled on the silver-coated tarp. I'd like to blame my mom, an inVETERATE looker-for-silver-linings woman. But, the fact is, they last longer than the blue ones.

I keep one, protected, underneath the ensolite. It's the one for Three Days of Rain or, may the godz preserve me, SNOW!

It's seen some work and been folded long enough, several times in different ways, it probably leaks and is time for it to be rotated to the front.

Up front is the shade cloth...yea olde tarp. It's rigged with carabiners (in the grommets), to clip onto the roof rack. When not shading it does duty as a cushion-silencer under the propane tank; half is under the tank and the rest is pulled under one of the crossbars of the roof rack. So far it hasn't managed to get blown away.

Seems like there aughta be at least a Master's thesis in comparing the incidence of silver vs blue in birds' nests.

The Pianist

We were perusing the bread. As she leaned slightly in front of me to retrieve her selection, she apologized. After reassuring her, I asked about her pick; it was sourdough. And then, without further ado, we commenced.

She'd moved down from Halfway onto 30 acres and was "spraying weeds." Her eyes lit up when I mentioned the accordion, adding that she'd put in a request (somewhere) to be alerted if "one came in."

She'd started playing the piano at age three but it wasn't until 7 they got her a teacher. She went at it all day, motivating the brothers to cover their ears and plead, "Make her stooooop!"

When I asked how she'd come to Baker she said it was a long story; I suggested we find somewhere to sit, but she had animals waiting to be fed. She suggested lunch in a couple of days. Whupping out my "card," I enthusiastically agreed.

I found a spot a few miles south of Baker with good cell and spent the first day recovering from doing laundry and shopping.

The weather shifted and by the end of the third day it was getting pretty chilly. Time to head south.

But there were twenty minutes or so there where I, once again, experienced the magic of "connection."

In Search of Sasquatch

My left eye has had me bedridden for three days. Today the weather is just too nice. I HAD to get up and go see.

The hills are so steep I'm confined to the road, but I think I've made my peace with trees.

Doug, a bow hunter, told of spur up the hill. It took me an hour and 15 minutes to go about 1,000 ft uphill. The spur is BEAUTIFUL! An old road they blocked off that's slloooowly being overgrown. I didn't have the strengrh to go far, but there was a lovely little meadow....like ambling through some huge estate. Three wonderful hours total!

I REFUSE to view the distances I cover as less than magnificent. I stop every few hundred feet to shed a few tears at the beauty.

Conversation

I am in several relationships. Each is its own exploration of intimacy. Herewith is an example of an exchange.

Dream - 9/2

While reading Stealing Fire, by Kotler and Wheal, about altered states, and feeling envious of stories within:

I’m with a group of maybe six women in their 30’s-40’s.  Nice looking, slender.  We’re meeting for an appointment where they are to attend to me sexually (I’d felt envious about being ‘left out’ of all the cool experiences discussed in the book, including sexual).  We have gathered but are floundering without direction — no one was taking the lead and I wasn’t saying what I wanted because I hadn’t articulated it to myself.  Finally I said, “You’re getting bored,’ because I could see it in some faces of the more sophisticated women, and because I was.  They began to find out I wasn’t a repressed ingenue…I wanted more than a safe intro to sexuality.  One said “I have an idea,” and things started moving.  

They pulled out a red dress for me, and another dressed in red.  I said rather coyly, “I never wear red” meaning I’m too conservative, though I added I sometimes wear touches of red.  (Red signals intensity, desire and passion…assertiveness, strength, power…all the things Serena stands for). She was very pretty and so was I.  The woman who’d spoken said they would array all their toys…that peaked me interest…that was what I’d wanted all along, to be given new, intense experience by this experienced group of pretties.

(Regarding the shift that followed, the book describes the authors’ experience being invited to a stage presentation by OneTaste, a sexual freedom/altered states event.  A woman laid down, presenting her pussy to the audience while another stroked her clitoris a certain way for 15 minutes, no more, no less.  No orgasm, just mind shifting.  My feeling as I read this was how mechanical and unappealing…nothing to do with connection between people.  I think this was reflected in my leaving the sexual event scheduled above and being attracted to a different story about intensity, power, and mind shifting.)

But I noticed at one end of the room a former coach training an athlete with a name like Eric Heiden.  Eric was on a slide board that also seemed like ice/skates.  The dream focus went close-up to the back of his skates…he was making quick skating motions side to side, with the coach leaning in, giving him pointers intensely.  I moved in behind and began mimicking his movements (as I had when learning from Bobby.)

In the next scene, I’m imploring the coach to share this high level technical info with me.  He looks doubtful, has no idea who I am or that I might understand.  Why should he impart knowledge to me.  So I demonstrate I know what he was talking about by saying:  You were talking about weight transfer and timing.  So he saw I understood and was willing to proceed.  (This movement is about power shifting, using one’s weight in very specific ways as you move from one leg to the other.)

Associations to seeing Serena, after watching for decades.  I once wrote an essay about her and Venus and their differing attitudes on court, etc.  Sport…love…flow. I had potential for more than I did but, as in so many pursuits, I was mostly self taught and enjoyed the internal process of discovery along the way…all those 50 years of skating.

And just today, after the dream, I found in Stealing Fire descriptions of embodied cognition in chapter on neurobiology.  Shifting the center of gravity, playing with g-forces…”boosting/expanding range of normal bodily input, ie amplifying physical sensations of gravity to shift mental state into flow”…carving turns skating and skiing (snow and ice).

Jimmy Choo, who makes mountain climbing documentaries, said, “weightlessness, weightedness, rotation are the nectar of the gravity games” !!! “They provide easy access to flow and bring us coming back for more.”  (Positive addictions, positive psychology of Martin Seligman)

This is language I know, in words and body.

They continue re: cognitive inputs to self perception from posture, breathing facial expressions, flexibility, and balance. So much to think about here.

They also write about how often creative people come up with novel ideas and solutions while walking…the body movement loosening things and also shifting neurochemistry.   Case in point:  One time I needed to comprehend some theoretical material for a presentation for the teacher I wanted to impress (I was in love with).  After reading awhile, I smoked a little and went hiking in Griffith Park with my dog.  I’m strolling along a bridle trail when suddenly my body stops with a small gasp because the understanding simply arrived.  It came not from thinking it through logically or linearly, rather the information was swimming around my mind and picked up deep resonances from my own actual experience.  These came together in a very pronounced “aha!” moment.  As I walked on, the paper wrote itself.

When It Rains

Gratitude is, for me, an ever-increasing dimension of this phase -- aging.

Despite my ambivalence around the flubbing of my latest attempt to throw in the towel, the eye pain has receeded enough for me to batten the hatches.

This is the first cloudy day in weeks. And I have, in the past, when bad (BAD! BAD! BAD!) weather threatened, usually brought the luggage inside. But with my box of fresh fruit & vegetables from Baker Co-op, I had to come up with another plan. Fortunately -- and this is where the gratitude part comes in -- the eye has settled some and I still, despite the fat, am able to clamber upon the yardarms and various sheets to rig a rain cover.

But, I admit, I'm forced, FORCED I tell you, to rest afterward. (some say afterwardS)

Baker City - LSD

Yesterday's eye pain resulted in a hyper-state that I've read about in BDSM articles wherein the induced pain results in a whole-body experience some find pleasurable. I did not.

But it felt interesting enough to prompt me to augment it with a microdose of LSD. And contrary to my usual inclination to "do it in the woods," I went into Baker City.  Motto of the day: Keep it simple.

There're (supposedly) a lot of bears in the area and though I've not seen a one, I've seen their "calling cards." 

Small bears

It seemed cruel to leave sardine and smoked oyster cans lying about. But I was running out of inside storage.

In addition, the "wonderful" Grayl 24 ounce geopress water purifier so highly recommended by a woman who'd traveled with one in Africa for two years, became inoperable. There's a beautiful stream about ten minutes away, but one bout of Giardia cured me of succumbing to a pretty face. I now filter all "wild" water.

With the breakdown of the Grayl, thirst became an issue. And so, into town I went. It was an amazing journey...highlighted by extraordinary kindness from all the people I encountered.

Unwashed and with several days of beard, my foremost interest was Boric Acid Solution, a liquid with mild anti-bacterial and anti-fungal with time-honored use as an opthalmic. I wandered from Safeway to Rite-Aide (a REAL pharmacy) where I, with all the drama and indignity of a Shakespearian play said, "Surely you Jive?!?!" when the pharmacist said they had none, adding that "I should check up front." 

At the register, whilst inquiring of the cashier, a pharmacist appeared and said she had checked and indeed, as the original minion had stated, there was none to be had.

At Albertson's the pharmacy was closed for lunch. Unable to see well enough to read the labels, I found myself picking up a bottle of castor oil in the enema section. It prompted me to realize things could be worse. Enlisting the aide of a customer, she assured me there was none. ONWARD! 

In the parking lot I called two pharmacies in La Grande. No luck. And with that, I gave up.

After googling Sporting Goods I ended up at ACE Hardware where I was getting new "feet" for the porta-toilet. 

Trapped in a line bounded by shelves of gummie bears, candy bars and other assorteds, I shouted to a fellow standing nearby if they had any water purifiers. He waved his hand at a wall display that looked beyond my current mental capacity. I paid for the "feets" and left. 

Wanting to enjoy the trip, I pulled into the library parking just as someone was leaving a shady spot. I spent a sort-of pleasant hour being reminded of how noisy cities are. Geiser Park has a pretty stream running through, lovely trees and grass, happy children and lovers cavorting and is adjacent highway 30, which was, on this day, funneling the freeway traffic around a slowdown on interstate 84. The semi trucks, vacationers, local hot-rodders all made an impression. I left.

Looking for good food, I decided to stop at the Co-op. Here I found a cornucopia of local blackberries, blueberries, tomatoes, huge, firm peaches from Fair Haven Orchard; raw cheeses, including a delicious smoked gouda. And to top it off, they had a homeopathic treatment for dry eye, a remedy I'd had luck with in the past, albeit the prev was allopathic. With a box-load of wholesomeness, I set sail.

Water and garbage had been expeditiously dispatched at the City Offices in Haines. 

Fortunately, I'd marked the way in my GPS. It's pretty far out there and at one point, only once though, did I need to check coordinates; in other words, I was lost. But eventually...all was well. 

Tonight I'll have beef tartare with Fields grassfed. Keep it simple...no open flames or dishes to wash.

A wonderful drug!