Tuesday, February 27, 2024

Gastritis, Dizzyness, Nausea & Twinges, Oh, My!

Yuh go along saying, "When it gets that bad, I'll check out." But instead of that, something else comes along...and you muddle through. Then the next thing....and the next. Each time I've come out the other side.

The full-on panic attack a couple of days ago has me wondering how much of today's agglomeration is psychosomatic.

I awoke at 9 a.m. feeling as if I was afloat in a small boat. It was really strange feeling dizzy while lying still; the slightest movement of my head made it worse.

The gastritis, a symptom from the highly acidic cocktail of heart medications, has been "problematic" all along. Ongoing experiments in food & liquid combinations haven't produced any mitigating results. A couple of weeks ago it ramped up a few notches & became continuous. Nausea joined up to reduce my food intake to very little; Mr. Stomach was imitating the wicked witch of the West moaning, "I'm shrinking, I'm shrinking!"

Pee is as dark as coffee...not drinking enough water.



In the evening Danielle the Death Doula came over. 
She looks much younger than her 40 years and lying in bed hearing first-hand her incredible tale of survival that included an NDE brought tears of empathy at her struggle and tears of happiness as she told how she's healthier than ever before. 

It was the NDE that changed her life and set her on the course of helping people die easily, without anxiety or fear.

Monday, February 26, 2024

James Fadiman - Microdosing

 James's wiki page.



The Remarkable Results of

Microdosing: James Fadiman



Stewart Brand and Myron Stoloroff are mentioned in James's Wiki article. Stewart started The Whole Earth Catalogue & Myron was involved in psychedelic research from the 1960s until his death in 2013. The links are to their Wiki pages.

An article about Myron with a phenomenal number of links to incredible stuff.


Mind States Program. This page includes quotes from a panel of elders including Ann & Sasha Shulgin, Laura Huxley, Michael Horowitz, Cynthia Palmer, Huston Smith and Myron Stoloroff.

Thursday, February 22, 2024

Bosque Trails Hospice

The interview lasted two hours.


I didn't qualify.


I hobbled back to bed and slept from 4 - 7 pm
We spent the evening together, resting.
Then, as usual, bedtime stories.
She's able to get around a little with a cane.

Thursday, February 15, 2024

Take Your LSD, Dear....

 

...and you'll be alright.


I couldn't move. I felt paralyzed and it was all I could do to hold the phone; talking was an incredible effort. Ever since reading how Aldous had asked Laura to inject him with LSD as he waa dying, I've wanted to go that way too. But I couldn't get up to get it.

I called the Doulas and they were busy. I called the caregiver who was with Susan, Michelle's mom, when she died. She too was busy. Finally, I called Michelle. When I'd left her lasr night she was grimacing in pain as she hopped the 15 feet from her bed to the bathroom. I really didn't think she could get to me. It's a small house, but given her level of pain, it's a long way to the Smirket Room (SR). But she managed to cut me a dose and pass it into my upturned palm. 


This painting by Janet Rontz provides nice contrast to the wall of the SR. I haven't heard from the Rontz's in decades. No doubt they died long ago. Janet made large paintings of flowers....the ones she saw on their visits to Hawai'i. This was an anomoly in her oeuvré.




Less than 10 hours later and I'm not bak on muh feets, but d'mouf iz movin' agin, ah kin tawk.At 256 pds an' rising, there's some ambivalence about whether that's a good thang. 

Wednesday, February 14, 2024

Michelle's Knee

Gave out. She injured it last week on the leg press in the Holiday Park Fitness Room. We'll try for an MRI tomorrow. Finding coverage for the catsits is a priority.


The three-plus hours of the Death Planning seminar yesterday had me laid up all day today. As informative as they are, doubt I'll attend again; just don't have the energy.


Thursday, February 8, 2024

Sikelianos-Carter at San Luis Obispo Museum of Art

 A vicarious experience.


I got taken along as She-of-the-Capri visited the museum. 

Braided yarn and twine resemble the way some people of color "do" their hair. Spread fingers to "largen" for detail.






Various glitters shift colors as one moves.



It helps to read the arist's statement



Her website

Wednesday, February 7, 2024

Seattle Erotic Art Festival

April 26, 27 & 28 -- 2024

Seattle Center Exhibition Hall

301 Mercer Street

Seattle, WA 98109 USA


Vimeo videos don't embed (prudes). So all I can do is offer the link. 

 https://vimeo.com/332370094


Photo unattributed on SEAF website


2022 Gallery Exhibition photos 



Tuesday, February 6, 2024

Twisted Windows

Among the cultural amenities available in larger cities are events and performances such as those of Twisted Windows. 

Saturday, 13th, April, 2024 8 pm - 11 pm. (PDT)

San Francisco, California, USA


Shay Red-Riding-Hood

Photo attribution looked for but not found


https://forbiddentickets.com/events/twisted-windows/6a3ec96380


https://forbiddentickets.com/events/shay-tiziano


More of Shay Tiziano's videos

Sunday, February 4, 2024

Near Death Experience (NDE) Rabbit Hole

It's in Lessons From the Light (available on Hoopla) that I found mention of Dr. Janice Holden and The Institute for Near Death Studies.

Then, in this interview with Dr. Holden, she mentions Bruce Greyson, a prominent psychiatrist who has also researched NDEs and is the author of After: A Doctor Explores What Near-Death experiences reveal about life and beyond and co-author of Irreducible Mind by Edward F. Kelly.



Along the way I found...

Dr. Mary Neal, a scientist and kayaker who was trapped underwater for 30 minutes and wrote about her NDE describes her experience in this YT video



Death Brings Context To Life - Dr. Mary Neal



and

Anita Moorjani who wrote Dying To Be Me a book I read a couple of years ago and enjoyed.


Also


and




A FINE Sunday evening's warren-wander.


Thursday, February 1, 2024

Return of Phoebe

For the record...let it be noted that on this day 1.Feb.24, Phoebe rode forth with new struts & shocks & a completely rebuilt & custom-crafted clutch system. 

She went into the shop soon after I arrived to Albuq in early October. It took a month of cogitating, disassembly & more cogitating to begin to understand the extent of the problem. When Daniel, owner of By the Book Diesel and Auto Repair, finally called to tell me about it, he wasn't sure if once they did everything they thought was needed if it would fix the problem.

Parts are increasingly hard to find and it was through a supplier I'd heard of from another Geo owner that Daniel was referred to someone in Oregon who has a stockpile. Waiting for people to return his calls added days, maybe weeks to the job. 

When I left Phoebe with him I'd hoped to be back on the road in three weeks. As doctor appointments kept getting pushed further out and parts-hunting became a job in its own right, it became evident the soonest might be the end of January. Around Christmas we tossed the timeline out the window. Knowing there was nothing to do but wait, I watched as the weeks went by...and learned to enjoy indoor plumbing. Last Wednesday, the call came: she was ready.



Drawing by Michelle D. Cook


Thursday was busy; Friday came and went. They're closed on weekends and I had several appointments on Monday. Tuesday at the gym was tough and resulted in me not getting out of bed on Wednesday. It was a week and a day before I could get to her.

As we reviewed the operation and I came to understand how the problems came to light; Daniel again told of his concern that they'd no way to know if all their work would make a difference; the problem could be elsewhere. He'd cautioned me at the "starting gate" that they couldn't foretell what all they might encounter.

Having owned businesses myself, I had experienced problems where no one came away happy; this one held that potential.


The pedal assembly from Oregon came with only one bushing (it uses two) and no rubber for the pedal. Fortunately, the old one had one good bushing and Skyler, doing the work, was able to salvage the rubber from the old pedal and glue it to the new one.

With the old assembly removed, they could see that the pedal had been welded at an angle that reduced the amount of travel and didn't make full use of the cable.

The following three photos show the pedal and the welds.

The pedal in the upper left




The weld, though not pretty, was strong. However, the pedal position on the shaft was incorrect.





Also, the end of the old shaft assembly was square and fitted - like a mortise and tenon -  into a hole in a rod at the end of the shaft. Both the end of the shaft and the hole were becoming rounded and it wouldn't have been much longer before it too would've been a problem. The new assembly was splined, a change no doubt prompted by recognition of the weakness of the mortise-and-tenon design.


Rounding (wear) of Mortise & Tenon






The clutch cable was worn and due to a bent connecting arm (connecting arm may have been bent during an encounter with an obstruction), misaligned. After heating and straightening the connecting arm, Skyler cut off the mounting bolts for the cable bracket at the transmission-end and rewelded them an inch further toward the rear. This had the effect of shortening the cable and provided more room for adjustment. He also welded closed a cutout in the bracket, thereby strenghthening it and eliminating a small amount of flex that reduced the cable's effective travel.

Welded Cutout



The third area of trouble was the firewall. The cable's mounting bracket bolts to the engineside of the firewall. The metal is so thin that the pedal pressure caused it to flex. Though the actual distance was small, combined with everything else, the cumulative effect kept the clutch from working properly and limited the available adjustment.


The silver bracket with its two bolts is stock. The gray, gun-metal plate behind it was custom-crafted and affixed to the firewall



While the words above explain the problem, they don't come near conveying the amount of thought and effort involved in making the repair. While I give full credit to Daniel and Skyler's tenacity, Skyler said Orlando also contributed.

Daniel pointed out that it was my willingness to give them carte blanche and full support in solving the problem plus throwing out the timeline, that gave them the confidence to move ahead. But as I told them, "I couldn't afford another vehicle; we had to fix it." But I knew as well as they did that "had to" isn't what makes it happen. 

So the success was appreciated by all.

                 -----------------------------------------------

With this, her seventh year of restoration, we crossed the $30,000.00 mark. Though I've jokingly likened it to a bad marriage wherein there's no way out, I never had enough money to buy a vehicle in Phoebe's present condition. Thanks to VISA and Mastercard, I've been able to stay out from under a bridge, which is where I'd have been without her. And everytime I roll down a window I savor the fact that I don't have to turn on the ignition.

(When on rough terrain I know I'm sitting atop a parallel box-beam (truck) frame, not a flimsy uni-body; she has real four wheel drive that enables her to clamber about with more nimble-arity than an AWD. She has real bumpers; when, a few years ago we were rear-ended at a red light in Flagstaff and knocked forward 8 feet, the RAM that hit us sustained heavy damage. Phoebe wasn't even scratched.

Oh, and her Check Engine light is off.)

Worth every penny.

We're ready to ride.

    Many, many thanks to By the Book.