Showing posts with label Germans. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Germans. Show all posts

Wednesday, January 20, 2021

Churminz (Germans)

It was 1968 and I was 15 when we moved from Nashville, Tennessee to El Paso, Texas. The 2nd day I was there a neighbor girl took me to score some pot at the local burger drive-in. I'd never seen so much pot before and was so dumbfounded I just stood there with it in my hand. Fortunately, the guy that'd accompanied us said, "Put it down your pants." 

While I stayed out 'til 2 or 3 in the morning, hanging with new-found friends, my brother, four years younger, got a paper route and bought a Yamaha 100. We were there less than a year when my Mom was transferred to Hawai'i. Instead of going with them, I went north into the wilds of Idaho's Salmon River Wilderness. 

Now, decades later, Eric travels the world schmoozing for multi-million-dollar contracts for his military-industrial complex-related corporation based in Austin, Texas. He was part of an eight-man team that, during one of the Bush administrations, met in Brussels to develop the shield that would protect America from ICBMs from Russia and/or China. Our formative years were as different as night and day but we have similar mannerisms, proclivities and are equally anal-retentive, a trait Germans have raised to a penultimate level.

I've been reading Evenings With Horowitz: A Personal Portrait, a biography of Vladimir Horowitz by David Dubal. I laughed aloud as they articulated the distinctiveness of the (alleged) Teutonic mind.



Years ago, back when I had a calendar and TO DO list, I invented the footnote; it's a task, written on an 8 and a half by 11 sheet that's placed on the floor; the path between the kitchen and the bathroom is best. 



What can I say? It's genetic.




Wednesday, February 5, 2020

Willkommen


I've no knowledge of why Germans delight in parodying women, but it's common at Fasching.

But what I recall is, even as a youngster, was the delight, the exuberance, the Willkommen.



Lyrics

Willkommen! And bienvenue! Welcome!
Fremder, étranger, stranger
Glücklich zu sehen
Je suis enchanté

Happy to see you

Bleibe, reste, stay
Willkommen! And bienvenue! Welcome!

I'm cabaret, au cabaret, to cabaret!

Meine damen und herren
Mes dames et messieurs

Ladies and gentlemen

Guten abend! Bon soir! Good evening!
Wie geht's? Comment sa va?

Do you feel good?

Ich bin eur confrencier!
Je suis votre compère

I am your host!

Und sage
Willkommen! And bienvenue! Welcome!

I'm cabaret, au cabaret, to cabaret!
Leave your troubles outside
So life is disappointing, forget it!
In here life is beautiful
The girls are beautiful
Even the orchestra is beautiful
And now presenting the cabaret girls!
Each and everyone a virgin
You don't believe me
Well, do not take my word for it
Go ahead, ask her!
Ha ha ha ha
Outside it is winter, but in here it is so hot!
Every night we have the battle to keep the girls from taking off
All their clothing, so don't go away, who knows, tonight we may
Lose the battle!
Und sage
Willkommen! And bienvenue! Welcome!
I'm cabaret, au cabaret, to cabaret!
We are here to serve you!
Bleibe, reste, stay
Willkommen! And bienvenue! Welcome!
I'm cabaret, au cabaret
Wir sorgen!
Willkommen! And bienvenue! Welcome!
Fremder, etranger, stanger
Glücklich zu sehen
Je suis enchanté, enchanté, madame!

Happy to see you, happy to see you

Bleibe, reste, stay
Und sage
Willkommen! And bienvenue! Welcome!
Fremder, etranger, stanger
Glücklich zu sehen
Je suis enchanté
Happy to see you
Bleibe, reste, stay
Willkommen! And bienvenue! Welcome!
I'm cabaret
Au cabaret
To cabaret!
Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Fred Ebb / John Kander
Willkommen lyrics © Warner Chappell Music, Inc, Round Hill Carlin, LLC

Sunday, March 13, 2016

Pi - Doosch



If you've never seen Germans getting down with their bad selves (skip ahead to around 2:59), you don't know the meaning of serious. 











There are few things that can compete, but PIE is one...









In case your translator didn't work, below is the text that accompanies the video. I'll leave it to you (adults!) to google doosch. 

Höhner: The caravan moves on (1998 / Five Star song) From: Helau and Alaaf! (WDR 2012) The best carnival songs and lively speeches between the Rhine and Weser Compiled by Hanna Dietz and Gisbert Baltes The Höhner are a Cologne music group. Among her best-known songs include the carnival hit "Blootwoosch, Kölsch un e delicious Mädche" and "I'm ene robbers" and the also nationally known "Viva Colonia" ... (Source: Wikipedia) 

The caravan moves on 
the Sultan would have Doosch! 
the caravan moves on, the Sultan would have Doosch! 
The caravan moves Next, the Sultan would have Doosch! 
The caravan moves on, the Sultan would have Doosch! 
But Nathan the Wise, who knew modest - The knew the oasis and was not very far! 
The caravan moves on, the Sultan'd Doosch! 
The caravan moves on, the Sultan would have Doosch! 
The caravan moves on, the Sultan would have Doosch! 
The caravan moves on, the Sultan would have Doosch! 




Saturday, February 15, 2014

Gerrmann Biker club

A female "elder" bin tinkin' 'bout joinin' zee local bikers' club.

Vun day she pluckt her chutzpah und knockt at zee clubhouse.

A beeg, hairy biker mit tatoos und ha'dvare answer.

She shout: "Ich vant to join zee club!!"

Zee biker ist amused und  'splains zat she must meet der criterionz.

Zee biker begins zee interrogayshunn "Habben Sie eine motorbike?"

Die Frau sagte dann (replies), "Yah!! Meine byke ist Parked ober Zer," (she points to a new sport-byke in zee drive.)



Zee biker zen asks, "Youse drink?"

"Yah, sez she, Ich trinkin' lak ah fish!! Gut, dark beer mostly, schnapps ven I shootin' zee pool. I trink effryvun in yer club unner der table!"

The biker, rising to the occasion, asks, "You schmoke?"





"Yah, schmoke lak uh chimbly," she sez. "Two dozen ganjah uh day....Kronik vin ich drinkin' der schnapps und shootin' zee pool."

By now der byker ist tinking 'bout der poten'shul und sez, "Last qvestshoon, "Hast Sie ebber bin pickt up by Der Fuzz?"

Der Vommin paused fur eine Sekondt, grinz und sez, "Nein!! Abbe ich bin svung round by mein nipplz now und den!!"


From The New Yorker magazine, p.47, July 20, 1998
Yah!!! Zo, Vat are Sie vaiting for?!!!! Plucken up Sie Fuzz und get knocken on zee door(s).

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Churminz Ahead!!

The Spot (click to largen)

I'm sure you've seen it too...orange cones across the entrance to the site; or yellow crime scene tape.

Every now and then I find a spot that seems appropriate for some kind of warning. Occasionally, it's a case of the "tight squeeze" where there's not enough room for another camper to turn around. But more often, like most folks in the wilds, I just don't want to be disturbed.

Of course, it's not ALL about me. Out of consideration for others, I feel it's only fair to offer some warning. Having been raised by a pair (female & male) of unaffiliated nudists, I do all I can to uphold the family values and keep the laundry loads to a minimum.




Warning!! Warning!! Germans Ahead!!


Thus, when I chanced upon this flag in a thrift store in Whitehorse, the capitol of The Yukon, I knew I'd found what I needed. And even though I feel there's no place for politics in the woods, it is, after all, meant in good humor.