The Fine Art of Navel Gazing

Frayda, the millionairess I knew from 2003 to 2006, died this day in 2006 around 6:30 a.m. No amount of money could stop the pancreatic cancer.

Excerpt from Conquest of Abundance....

The crucial judgment on a life is not about the philosophy or theology that the person claimed to follow, but the kind of life that he actually lived. In his acclaimed autobiography "killing time", Feyerabend says: "It seems to me that love and friendship play a central role and without them even the noblest achievements and the most fundamental principles remain pale, empty and dangerous".

https://plato.stanford.edu/entries/feyerabend/#TenWondYearEighBerkZuri

Feyerabend complains that the ideas of reason and rationality are “ambiguous and never clearly explained” (Farewell To Reason, p. 10); they are deified hangovers from autocratic times which no longer have any content but whose “halo of excellence” (ibid.) clings to them and lends them spurious respectability:

[R]ationalism has no identifiable content and reason no recognizable agenda over and above the principles of the party that happens to have appropriated its name. All it does now is to lend class to the general drive towards monotony. It is time to disengage Reason from this drive and, as it has been thoroughly compromised by the association, to bid it farewell. (FTR, p. 13).

Interestingly, he was, in terms of philosophical perspective, compared to Bruce Lee.

Striking Thoughts: Bruce Lee's Wisdom for Daily Living

"Since he himself would not wholly accept any particular style of martial art or philosophy, Bruce encouraged his students not to accept, without question, his teachings. His main message was to keep one's mind, attitude, and senses pliable and receptive, and, at the same time, develop the ability to think correctly. This process of inquiry, debate, and practice would lead not only to knowledge of one's physical strengths and weaknesses but also to the discovery of basic truths that allow one to grow toward a state of harmonious unity of spirit, mind, and body." — Linda Lee Cadwell, from her preface

"I thought Bruce was a brilliant, fine philosopher about everyday living. He was very much into finding out who he was. His comment to people was 'Know yourself.' The good head that he acquired was through his knowing himself. He and I used to have great long discussions about that. No matter what you do in life, if you don't know yourself, you're never going to be able to appreciate anything in life. That, I think, is today's mark of a good human being—to know yourself." — Steve McQueen

I'd add: If you are continuing to grow mentally, emotionally, then knowing one's self is an ever-changing event.

As a polyamorist, I've valued my relationships above all else. They helped me grow in ways I never could have imagined. And each time I thought I'd NOW done everything that could be done in bed, another would appear to show me a whole new dimension.

The joy of love-imbued orgasm is the highest. My deepest gratitude and undying love to each of you.

                   💝    

The Biggest Engine That Could

There's distinction in pariah-hood. I can grasp my lapels and thrust out my paunch with pride in NOT  having any followers. But then, several years ago, one appeared. Then, for a while, there was another. I stoically endured. Eventually though it got to me...as everything does.

Fortunately, after several recent visits to "the 2nd's" blog they realized the error of their ways and dropped off. But then another, like a leech or lamprey, attached itself. It wouldn't be so bad except for the list I'm included in. It's, it's a mass of, of...Hoi Polloi!

The first one -- the one that's gone the distance -- has a blog about motors. Today, in an effort to remind him/her/it that they miiiiiiight want to STOP following me, I visited. But I was, in my earliest years -- those when one thinks the blatting of a mufflerless motor inspires tingles in womens' clits -- a mechanic. And there remains juuuust enough vestigial interest to prompt a link-and-look at this....

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/W%C3%A4rtsil%C3%A4-Sulzer_RTA96-C

Eggs

I like to have them around, hard-boiled, for snacks. When I left I was waiting for the water to boil. The task caused me to forget and before I knew it...

Artists!! Can't turn yer back on 'em for a second!

                                                  (her serigraphs from the 1990s)

On the Way to Albuquerque

I was (reluctantly) working my way northward. I HAD to meet with a cardiologist about my Amylnitrate Cardial Infarcation (or some such), but wasn't in any big hurry.


This boulder looked pleased with itself.

You can see why; it had made it down the hill further than any others.

The Little Yellow Flowers (LYFs) were in profusion.

And the wind was between 30 - 40 knots.

Phoebe waiting patiently....

Wasted Worry

I have a good rapport with my primary physician; he tolerates my Germanittude (Vee Vahnt to Know und you VILL answer zee Qvestschunz!) without getting defensive. The results of our phone conversation yesterday...

He increased my meds so I won't have to take them as often....and they can be increased further and there are some other drugs to try.

When I explained that I wanted an MRI or echocardiogram to determine if we'd be stenting a heart that is 80% dead or stenting a heart that is only 20% dead he said neither test would be helpful...it's not that simple. (We won't be stenting.)

He asked how my blood pressure and pulse are (both are good) and how I'm doing in general. He said THESE are the determinants, how one presents, that they use to recommend treatment. If I don't have the strength to go to the bathroom then I'm in trouble. The fact that I can walk a ways but am unable to exercise and I have severe bouts of angina indicates I'm in bad shape but not "in trouble."

Additionally, he said I'm tolerating the drugs well --- no dizziness, fainting, too low blood pressure --  so it's all good. If I take my meds, am careful about my diet and don't have another heart attack I might live forever.

Bonsai the cat, shown above in the classic leopard-on-a-limb pose, is ensconced on the arm of my 1920s J.C. Penney armchair. That's $120.00-a-yard mohair she's lounging on. I found the chair on the street my first year of college (1983, I was 33) and used my student loan to have it recovered. Mohair, the original fabric, is virtually indestructible and has a wonderful feel to the nude body draped upon it. A number of cats have enjoyed it too.

MFH - Albuquerque

The line in Waiting For Godot, "It's a Carrot" served, for many years, as a koan whose meaning was: It is what it is.

All the while I interpreted the scene as Beckett's sarcastic poke at homophobes. The critics frequently made reference to it in metaphorical terms of Vladimir's balls (testes) and the carrot as his dick. I imagined Beckett muttering: "Stupid buttheads! They read too much Freud."

My sister embroidered this bandana 45 years ago.

Over time the carrot morphed into The Prime Motivator...as in when dangled, on a schtick-und-schtring, in front of a mule. I discarded the stick and enjoyed the metaphor. The phrase "It's a Carrot" became the acronym IAC. And in those days, when the gallery was going strong, Contemporary Art was my Prime Motivator -- compelling me to LEAP from bed (with enthusiasm) each morning.

Ms. Cook found this SPLENDID robe -- and t-shirt -- online. 

Not ALL my stubbornness is genetic; I AM a Capricorn.

At the Santa Cruz Valley Regional Hospital after the angioplasty.

Tinsel & Carrots, Oh My!

About Poetry
from:  Nine Gates  by Jane Hirshfield

Look Here.

Another Worthy of Note

                       The video is magical!


http://corneringconsciousness.blogspot.com/2014/10/october-rise.html


They claim, on their website

https://risefestival.com/

that they pick up 100% of the lanterns....and more. They CLAIM, on their website, they pick up other trash they find and do all they can to leave the area cleaner than before the festival.

Wyoming

This just in from last summer in Wyoming. We took the scenic route (see: Ten Sleep to Shell) from Laramie to Ten Sleep. She'd read Shreve Stockton's book who, after traveling the world, settled there and described the area "glowingly." And it was!

Walking Off the Big Apple

As mentioned in a prev post, URLs for visitors sometimes appear in the blog "stats."

Yesterday, Teri Tynes, an editorial consultant and blogger of Walking Off the Big Apple, stopped by.  I commend the video; it's heartening to hear the enthusiasm and, to me, deeply touching that people CAN and WILL find creative ways to show their appreciation.


https://walkingoffthebigapple.blogspot.com/2020/03/the-long-days-of-this-new-york-spring.html

Cat Lackey

We're enjoying having time together. Bonsai, a.k.a. Trixie, is seen here making sure Michelle's body-heat doesn't go to waste.

I have a phone consult on Monday with a cardiologist. Unless he has something besides bypass surgery to offer, afterward I'll head north.

I was up at 11:30 last night being amazed by the roar of the traffic; everyone must be coming out at night. Between the neighbor's music and the occasional "woof" from the dog next door, I put in ear plugs....and look forward to being somewhere quiet. But I miss her when we're apart.

Egg-Laying Bunny Day

I'd never have known what day it was if my sister hadn't emailed from Bad Kreuznach, Germany with holiday wishes.

Alerted, I stopped in at John Brook's Grocery in Socorro on my way to Albuquerque. It being THE DAY, I was able to pick up some Easter candy at 1/2 price. I'm often not in Albuquerque for holidays so we celebrate whenever. Today, Tuesday, Michelle found the last one of eleven I hid.

Traditionalists, we used the vinegar & food-coloring method. Artist that she is, Michelle had some blue dye in her materials stockpile and by double-dunking, first in one color and then in another, she came up with some one-of-a-kinds.

We've both sworn off sugar, but since I swore off swearing at age 16 when I spent a day on acid listening to the students in my alternative high school (for dropouts) I've managed to help Michelle hedge her bets every once in a while.

Looking back, we both wish we could've worked for The Hershey Company (Hershey, PA) or Russell Stover as designers and/or quality-control testers, but we had a great time coloring the eggs and she enjoyed the hunt to find them. (KitKat is a Hershey's product and, of course, made esp for cat-sitters.)

Pizza & Cardiology Today

I rarely eat it. But it's a staple for she who says, "I'm a cook in name only."

Now in Albuquerque, I'm scheduled for a phone consult on Monday, the 20th, at 3:00 with Dr. Jose Mendez. He's a cardiologist, not on the faculty (at the University of New Mexico Hospital), who works all over the country, maybe even the world, and, according to the nurse I spoke with, is highly-regarded. She thought his specialty was heart failure, but encouraged me to google him.

I'm going to ask about stem-cell injections, something someone mentioned, and ask all the questions Jim Cooper suggested (Jim was kind enough to send a list) AND see if there are any other pain medications that might help. AND....see what he has to say about the life-expectancy statistics with or without bypass surgery. From what I've read and from what Jim said, bypass surgery relieves symptoms thereby providing the opportunity for a more active (sex!) lifestyle. But it doesn't increase life-expectancy. Three weeks later my arm STILL hurts from the angiogram (transradial catheterization)....NOTHING compared to what happens in bypass surgery. 

All Bunnies Day

I was backing up the other day and ran acrosst this article I wrote back in 2012. On this day of celebration of the process of procreation (SPRING!!), I offer the following tutorial. ENJOY!

I trimmed the bristles on this brush to make it easier to control. I have moderately strong wrists but my eyesight is poor. I can sense the pressure more easily with a shorter bristle.

The recipient, in this case (since I'm hetero, I'll use the pronoun of my preference) a woman, lies on her back with a large, flat cushion under her buttock to elevate her and allow her legs to  spread more easily.

Her knees are drawn up in the "delivery" or situp position, but allowed to open naturally. A rolled towel or tubular cushion can be placed on both sides parallel to the length of her body for added support. These allow the thighs to spread easily while supporting the weight of the knees. Cushions can be placed on either side under where her knees may come to rest . Experiment to find what is comfortable. As always, what feels good one time may not the next. Be prepared to try something different. On the other hand, if it feels good...enjoy it.

She takes a sip (gulp?) of martini and, using her hands, spreads her labia. Throughout the following, she is encouraged to self-pleasure as an adjunct to the wielder's activities.

The Wielder-of-the-Brush then VEEEEERY lightly begins. Depending on the pace she enjoys, one can begin at the toes or at the ankle. If the latter, stroke the underside of her calf up to her knee always moving toward her groin; vary the pressure depending on ticklishness or erotic proclivity.

Do both legs before continuing to the underside of the thighs.

Then, begin again on TOP of the calf. Do both and continue to the outer surface of the thighs. She may have to bring her knee toward the other leg in order to reach. (This is where a massage table comes in handy.)

Go very slowly, paying close attention to the pressure. It should be as light as possible at the beginning but strong enough so as not to tickle.

After the thighs use the back of the brush (the un-bristled side) to lightly trace an ellipse over her abdomen. The apexes are just above her clitoris and the middle of her navel. Go out to the sides even with her nipples.....regardless of the size of her breasts.

Go around three times. Turn the brush over bristle side against her skin, and go around three more.

Touch her nipples (VERY LIGHTLY) with the bristles.

Stroke the underside of her left breast starting from just in front of her armpit. Bring the brush along the curve of her breast to the center of her chest before lifting it. Some may enjoy taking it to their throat and up the underside of the chin. 

Slower yet: As you reach the center of her chest, always maintaining contact with the brush, continue up to her neck, then across her clavicle, down the top of the arm. As you reach her elbow go VERY lightly on the inner elbow then reverse direction. Go up the underside of the bicep and when you reach the underarm begin again this time pressing more against the side of her breast.

Turn her over and do her other side.

Maintain contact between her body and the brush at all times. Sustained contact is an essential element. If you lift the bristle end, try and keep the handle in contact.

Happy Make-Like-Bunnies Day!!!!

Hotel Rex & Robin

I spent several days at The Hotel R&R north of Truth or Consequences. As the daytime temperatures rose, the traffic on the highway was an increasing impingement on my au-naturel style. It was time to be somewhere else.

The food was fabulous and Robin sent me home last night with two frozen, raw burger patties that by morning were perfect. Nothing like steak tartare for breakfast; like the good ole days!

I'm waiting for a cardiologist in Albuquerque to review the video of the angioplasty. I'm hoping he'll have a way besides bypass surgery to get through the blockages.

Jim Cooper, the Desert Walker, sent an informative email with questions for the cardiologist. Turns out he's a retired internist who specialized in intensive-care cardiology.

Alan Rasmussen -- who helped me get from the car to the Emergency Room at St. Mary's Hospital in Tucson -- took a job in W Virginia (I think). He was supposed to fly into JFK yesterday and begin work today. He's a respiratory therapist and, at age 70, was inclined to try and help some of the folks struggling with The Virus.

I'm camped near the Southeast end of the Gila Wilderness in New Mexico a few miles west of Interstate 25. I'm gonna piddle my way to Magdalena then northward to I-40 while waiting for the cardiologist to review all the notes and stuff. Then I'll decide what to do next.

Michelle recently discovered one of her clients was infected with The Virus. And since Michelle'd kissed the woman's cat she, Michelle, had to get tested. The results -- negative --  came back in two days. (Alan (see above) said it was taking seven to eight days some places back east.) "HHUURRAAAYY!!!" cried the cats.

Serviettes & The Headcheese Runs

Perhaps you'll  recall the Margaret Meade - Gregory Bateson alliance. I think it was when they were in New Guinea that one of them described how the tribe-of-study measured the success of a hunt. As the story went, tribal members, seated round the fire feasting upon the roasting meat, would periodically leap to their feet and go tearing off into the forest. Induced diarrhea was the measure of success.

Whenever I pass through Lordsburg I HAVE to stop at Suacedo's Market, the only place east of Los Angeles and west of Chicago where one can find head cheese. I buy two pounds and eat it in one sitting. The evening is spent tearing off into the forest.

Things being what they are, I'd decided toilet paper was one of the most non-green products in existence and couldn't believe I'd been wasting money all these years just throwing it down the drain. The solution dawned one morning and with an investment of slightly more than $1.00, I purchased a be-ribboned stack of fine Egyptian-cotton washcloths and tore them into proximate size.

Enlisting the aid of Ms. Cook and her brother Steve, who were on their way to Tucson to help with my angioplasty, they located and brought with them the perfect washing machine.

The clean cloths are kept in a bag -- ready for use -- and there's another for storage while awaiting washing.

But when I passed an entire WALL of napkins in the Douglas, Arizona Dollar Tree (not a single roll of t.p. anywhere), I just couldn't pass 'em up. I hope to make it to Quebec and reasoned that they'll serve as my first lesson in French.

 

I haven't calculated my savings yet, but I feel SO much greener. Butt, butt, the lingering question remains....is the cotton non-gmo?