Same ole, same ole. I need a cornea transplant and a cataract removed; it's not feasable with my lifestyle.
He prescribed atropine and ice packs for the pain.
He's a little older than I, now only working half-days. His substantial paunch was duly noted by Mr.Stomach who felt a bit of pride being in the presence of one of his own.
File Portrait (Mr. Nose)
The line is from folding the paper.
One of his awards was for One of the Best Physicians in the Nation for 2005. The staff was superb....Rocky Mountain Eye Associates.
My first reaction to 'atropine' was to recall it was an antidote for chemical nerve agents. Back in the days when I knew that the drug was an injector sort of thing that you jabbed into your thigh before you died from said chemical nerve agent. More quick search yielded 'Atropine may cause serious side effects including:
ReplyDeletefast heartrate,
high pressure in the eye (glaucoma),' etc., but of course you are already living on the ledge or somewhat over the ledge fault line. Doctors generally know stuff so the next search yielded 'opthalmic atropine' which is the standard dilation medication and also used for eye swelling and inflamation. So, the question is "Did that help the pain?" Side effects may include hallucinations
holding false beliefs that cannot be changed by fact
irritability
unusual excitement
The internet also stressed 'keep it clean' re atropine. At a point it's all sort of a day to day life. Hopefully the atropine gives some relief. FYI the first indication of chemical nerve agent is pinpoint pupils. You may also experience a numbness of your tongue.
Dear Anon,
DeleteThank you for this. Usually I look things up fairly quickly, but over the past year I've noticed an increasing sense of overwhelmedness that's resulted in longer times for accomplishing the due diligences.
I'm running my own study on the analgesic effects of prednisilone vs atropine. Pred is in the lead for pain relief but Atro lasts longer and is touted as safer for long-term use.
I like that "somewhat over the ledge." There's definitely a feeling of life coming to a close, but it's taking a lot longer than I expected.
I'm coming round to your view of it being day-to-day; it's added an additional level of poignancy...and gratitude.
And thanks for the tips on nerve gas. Aside from the irritability, it sounds kinda similar to LSD...my preferred sanity-sustainer. False beliefs etc., is a toughie, though. I believe in love, but it can be a tricky one to prove with facts. I'll DEFINITELY be on the watch for tongue numbness. Mr. Tongue takes great pride in his sensitivity...and not just in the areas of elocution.
Do you have any beliefs...false or otherwise?
I have few beliefs. As a 50% Norwegian and having been dragged through more or less 15 years of a rigid Lutheran church I lack much in 'faith' but live with the notion that something might be out there, or not. As I age I'm more reflective on the circumstances of childhood on one's own life, choices made, paths taken, etc. From 15 through 68+, and now, I worked. Coming from nothing, I had nothing. Although I ended up with a bit, most of money my efforts produced was for other people. At heart I'm creative. That benefited my employers more than me. Had my creative talents been directed differently I'd feel much better about my past life. All I can do now is find time each day to focus on 'what I should have done' and hope that provides some personal reward. Right now I've been working of numerous deferred maintenance projects on real estate (I wish I had no real estate). Today a general contractor asked me what I cared about. Caught at an awkward and introspective moment I said 'nothing.' Now I meant 'nothing' and he was asking about trim on a support post or a paint color or Tyvek placement or some other pointless item. Older people are frequently asked "what do you want your legacy to be?" The question I find revolting...but I'm starting to think that is my personal litmus test...how to leave some sort of legacy. Who knows? My life is increasingly looking to the next day and not beyond. Tomorrow I'm taking down a big ash tree and spending a few hours with a hammer drill taking off tile and mortar. With any luck my deteriorating eyesight, hearing, teeth and arthritic joints will last the upcoming 24 hours. Ask me tomorrow.
ReplyDeleteLegacy: I think its mostly serendipitous. How can we know the effects of a smile, a kindness or any action -- as we see looking back at our own lives.
DeleteI travel looking for you. I never know when or where you'll appear, but it's always startlingly distinctive.
Often the "you" is busy with other things and it's just a momentary flash in a checkout line or at a laundry.
Every few years you take on a larger role. Some last months; others go for years.
In my last semester of college my journalism professor INSISTED I apply for a position in the marketing department at the University Press. I still wonder how she picked me out of 70 students; it put me on a path that served me the rest of my working life and introduced me to a woman who, as have the others, helped me explore unimagined dimensions of my psyche. And I've done my best to reciprocate.
I wondered if I'd hear from you. So many are fearful. But in that short space in time you touched me and I went and waited. But I have itchy feet and am a wuss when it comes to cold. And so, headed south.
Why haven't you sold the land?
Dear Anon,
ReplyDeleteI may have confused you with another. How did you find me?