The power of touch...
There was a period, I've forgotten how long, perhaps as much as two years, when I split the week between the Michellles (three els when mentioned collectively). The partings were always tearful, but we needed each other...and now, thirty-five years later, though not as often, still do.
It's that poignancy that now, again, tears at my heart. Sitting, alone in the theater...the footlights still on, they gave me a key so I could lock up when I leave.
How to leave you?...the few who care. To give heart....to, in some way, make this final transition easier...fun even? Can you imagine?
I'm drawn, time and again, to a recollection of Laura Huxley telling how she agreed to Aldous's request that she inject him with LSD as he died. It's been years since I read her account, but my awe at his curiosity...and their resolve, remains.
Each of us, in our own little universe...our theater.
After four months of barely able to "do," I increased the isosorbide another 30mg twice a day...60mg over the maximum suggested dose. It caused a flaring like those Kübler-Ross said happen now & then. I was in the Gold Beach (Oregon) library reading *Your Brain On Art* (Magsamen & Ross, Random House, 2023) and emailed the mention of Jeff Thompson's sound-healing work to a friend with similar interests. In his reply he enthused about his escape from Albuquerque, his return to his home-town (Seattle), his enjoyment of reconnectioning with family and friends and his many new projects.
Googling, I discovered the Seattle Opera is presenting Das Rheingold. I bought a ticket and booked myself into four days at an Airbnb south of the downtown.
This morning I awoke to the tiredness. I contacted the hosts and in an embarassed synopsis explained why I was cancelling. The ticket is non-refundable.
Granny spent her last ambulatory years (approx 6) living with my mom and sister. When she became bed-ridden Mom could no longer care for her sufficiently and began looking for an assisted-living facility. In the meantime, Granny spent nearly six months in the New Mexico Home for the Aged in Las Vegas. Mom made the 244-mile, round-trip drive several times a week to be with her. I went a couple of times.
On one of the early visits I watched as Mom spent time with the woman who shared Granny's room. She lay on her back with her thin, arthritic hands held in front of her in a posture similar to a praying mantis; her fingers curled claw-like. She appeared unresponsive, but each time Mom took a few minutes to hold the woman's hands and talk with her.
As the time neared for Granny's move, I went to help gather her things and do what I could. When I entered her room I was astonished to see her roommate sitting up in bed, eating....holding a bowl and using a spoon. Mom never said much about it, just that, over that six months, with that little bit of touch, the woman had returned to life. I have no idea how old she was; she looked to be in her mid to late eighties.
The other night I dreamt I was running. I knew in my dream it'd been years since I'd been able to run and I was exhilirated. I awoke feeling enthused, not in anticipation, but with the memory of having once been able.
My memory has never been good and now, even sometimes with substantiative promptings, I can't recall things.
I keep notes to try and guage my acuity while speculating about Alzheimer's. The blog serves its purpose as a reference. But lately there's been little exhiliration and that needs to change. Perhaps intermittent cat-lackeying?
The YOUR BRAIN ON ART website
Connie McDonald's massage (Soul Feet Retreat) today in Crescent City was incredible!