Finally home after a long day of cat-sits, judo and grocery shopping. I was exhausted.
As we sat in the car I told her I can feel myself growing a liiiiiitttle weaker every day. If I force myself to exercise I get so tired afterward I have to take a nap...sometimes for several hours. Will loading -- when in the wilds -- necessitate a pre-move nap? Fortunately, the days will be long enough it'll probably work for the middle months of the summer.
Seeing the impact of these guys "leaving" is pretty tough. Karen's still upset over Ralph (it's starting to get a little better after 4 years), but then Keith, and a few months ago Duane, one of Michelle's assistants (he was only 33 but had wrangled depression for years), and now Fred (Keith's Dad). The implications of one's own departure are impossible to ignore. And I'm still speculating on when to pull the plug; I definitely don't want to get caught in the throes of "the system" through some inadvertent misstep or, god help me, incapacitation.
They've been testing various psychedelics on terminal cancer patients for years and have had good results with alleviating the pre-death anxiety. I've had three pre-journey zoom meetings with a guide who does integrative counseling for psychedelic journeyists.
The other day, in a discussion about perspective, he said "I'm not trying to convince you of anything, just offering food for thought." Journeys are so ineffable...especially the high-dose ones. It helps to have confidence in the guide, but it's almost impossible not to convey SOME perspective. And it can be EXTREMELY difficult, as anyone who's "experienced" knows, to guide (help) someone toward finding their own answers without influencing them....esp when every micro-nuance of prosody is evident and/or open for interpretation.
Now time to get ready to leave for the leaking-eye appt.
No comments:
Post a Comment