Holiday Park Fitness Room - Day 2

Michelle did MUCH better at the gym. She discovered the "abs" machine and the situps bench. I'm having a hard time not bursting into tears over the poignancy of it all.

Imagine, if you will, me, as huge as I am, dragging her, a mere five-foot two, wonderfully zaftig, by her collar, sulking, up the sidewalk to the front entrance, through the sliding-glass doors where I have to PRY her membership card (membership is free but they issue a card in order to substantiate their funding) out of her hand so they can scan it, then proceed down the hall to the fitness room where I THROW her onto a treadmill & kick it into gear. Ten minutes later she's clipping along at 4 mph and showing no sign of boredom or exertion.

The only other people in the room are another couple about our age, but in much better shape. They're obviously on a cardio routine and move from one machine to another without hesitation or breaks.

Michelle (inadvertently) beats him to the abs machine. He goes by and mutters "Fuck" under his breath. Soon his wife queries him about his upset and after several exclamations of increasing volume of "WHAT!?!" (apparently due to his wife speaking too softly), he practically bellows, "I'm waiting on this machine!"

Michelle, in her inimitable capacity to ignore, just schluffs him off as "grumpy" and later relates the incident as a humorous anecdote.

At the Post Office we stand in line for 15 minutes  when on the radio comes "I'm frrrreeee, I'm free fallin'! Free Fallin' now I'm Free Fallin'" by Tom Petty.

Free Fallin' by Tom Petty

There're about 15 people in line behind us (we're always front-of-the-wave) and they all know the chorus. It takes only a little encouragement from yerz trooly for everyone, including the postal workers, to join in for a flash-mob (no video as I'd have had to get a release from each). At the counter, the clerk kindly points out it's a UPS mailing label.

While she's at UPS I go next door to the "neighborhood" Walmart.

Once home and groceries unloaded and lasagna in oven I'm lying down and speculating I may not move again for a week, perhaps longer.

Tomorrow at 12:30 & 6:30 Sifu Dug Corpolongo teaches Tai Chi. I hope to make it to one of the classes...if I survive.

ChatGPT on Relationships

Perhaps it improves over time, but you'll notice the solely reactive responses and complete lack of questions to elicit information.

MFH

My talent is love-making. I began research and practicing at age 12. Now, at age 70, I'm old and fat. What's the best app to find a female, heterosexual lover.

(Under the above initial query, a red banner with white text warned that this "chat" might violate their guidelines)

Chat

Finding a romantic partner is a personal journey that isn't limited to one app. Popular dating apps like Tinder, Bumble, OkCupid, and Match.com can help you connect with potential partners. It's important to be respectful, honest, and open in your approach. Age and appearance should not be barriers to finding love, as genuine connections can be formed at any stage of life.

MFH

I've tried all the suggested apps without any results. Do you have any other suggestions?

CHAT

If you've tried popular dating apps without success, you might consider expanding your search in the following ways:

1. Niche Dating Apps: Explore dating apps that cater to specific interests, lifestyles, or age groups. There are apps for seniors, as well as niche apps for various hobbies or interests.

2. Attend Social Events: Join local social groups, clubs, or events that align with your interests. Meeting people in person can lead to more genuine connections.

3. Seek Professional Help: You could consider seeking advice from a relationship coach or therapist who can provide guidance and support in your search for love.

4. Online Communities: Participate in online forums or communities related to your interests. You might find like-minded individuals who are open to forming connections.

5. Be Patient and Persistent: Finding the right partner can take time. Be patient and persistent in your search, and don't be discouraged by initial setbacks.

Remember that building a meaningful relationship often takes time and effort. Focus on being the best version of yourself and open to new experiences.

MFH

Is there a country where my talent might be more appreciated?

Chat

The appreciation of personal talents and qualities can vary from one culture to another, but it's important to recognize that love and relationships are highly individual and not solely based on talent. While different cultures may have different views on love and romance, it's more about finding a compatible partner who appreciates you for who you are, rather than seeking a specific country where your talent might be more appreciated.

Focus on building meaningful connections with individuals who share your values and interests, regardless of their cultural background. Love and attraction are universal, and they can transcend cultural boundaries.

MFH

America is renowned for its prudishness. Where else might I look?

Chat

Cultural perceptions of love and relationships can vary widely within any country, including the United States. While some regions or communities may have conservative views, others may be more open and accepting. It's not accurate to generalize an entire country as "prudish."

If you're looking for a more open-minded environment, consider places known for their progressive attitudes or more liberal social norms. European countries, for example, are often considered to have more relaxed views on matters of love and relationships. However, it's essential to remember that individuals' attitudes and values can differ greatly within any country or culture. It's best to focus on finding a compatible partner who shares your values and interests, rather than making assumptions based on location.

MFH

I grew up in Japan and Germany and had my parents not divorced I would've, at age 16, been apprenticed to an older woman to learn the art of love-making. Espousing a view that even acknowledges the "art" of love-making in the U.S. often elicits expressions of prudishness. Aren't you familiar with the more relaxed attitudes in Polynesia?

Chat

Yes, I'm aware that different cultures can have more open and relaxed attitudes toward matters of love and relationships, and some Polynesian cultures, like Tahiti and Fiji, are known for their more permissive views on sexuality. However, it's important to remember that cultural norms can vary even within the same region, and individual beliefs and practices can differ.

If you believe that a particular cultural context aligns more closely with your views and desires, you may consider exploring places with a reputation for such attitudes. Just keep in mind that regardless of location, forming a meaningful and consensual connection with a partner should be the primary focus. Mutual respect, understanding, and communication are essential in any relationship.

MFH

While the values you suggest are certainly worthwhile, my age and obesity are particularly of concern. Aren't there any cultures that value wisdom and advanced sexual tevhniques?

Chat

While cultural attitudes toward age and body image can vary, it's true that some cultures may place a higher value on wisdom and experience, including in the realm of sexual relationships. In many Asian cultures, for example, respect for elders and their wisdom is deeply ingrained. However, the emphasis on specific sexual techniques can vary greatly, and individual preferences often play a significant role.

It's important to recognize that regardless of cultural values, finding a partner who appreciates you for your wisdom and experience is possible in various cultures. Age and body image are not insurmountable barriers to forming meaningful connections. Focus on building relationships based on mutual respect, shared interests, and effective communication. Being open and honest about your desires and experiences can help in finding a compatible partner.

MFH

You're not answering my question.

Chat

I apologize if my responses haven't fully addressed your question. There isn't a specific culture that universally values advanced sexual techniques over other qualities, and such preferences can be highly individual. While some cultures may appreciate wisdom and experience, the importance of these qualities in a romantic context can vary significantly from person to person.

If you have specific preferences regarding cultural attitudes and values, it may require further research or exploration to find a community or partner that aligns with your desires. Please feel free to ask more specific questions or provide additional details if there's a particular aspect you'd like to discuss further.

MFH

Hmmm, thanks, but this is feeling too circuitous. Good bye.

Chat

I understand, and I'm sorry if the conversation wasn't as straightforward as you'd hoped. If you ever have more questions or need assistance in the future, don't hesitate to reach out. Goodbye, and take care.

Perhaps it'd improve, but based on the above, I uninstalled it.

Hup We Go....easy, easy

The fuel pump came in and she's going on the lift. Sam said it's about a four-hour job...I think as much to prepare me for the bill as anything.

I feel fortunate to have fallen into these folks's hands. It's been interesting being in a place where everyone knows everything about everyone. 

As luck would have it, Keaton's an artist and was kind enough to let me see some of his work. I also got to be a sounding board for some of the difficulties of his dovorce....which was final yesterday.

3:30 pm - The "new" fuel pump was bad. Fortunately, they had another on the shelf. This time they tested it before.

6 pm - Heading out. And with fresh eggs from Keaton's chickens.

Nevada - southbound

As you can probably (easily) recall, the ambivalence around Tropic was weighted by the threat of snow. I suspect we'd have had to wait a day or more for the road to be cleared and even then I'll surmise it'd have been rough. That was a loooooooong, steep hill.

In case you don't remember...

We were heading west after visiting Dinosaur National Monument. It had gotten cold and tired as we were, you took a room at the motel in Tropic; I slept in Phoebe. The gal at the front desk gave us a break on the rate.

We got a late start the next day and were so tired were considering staying over another night. But dark clouds began forming. 

With snow likely, and the road out of town climbing to an elevation where snow would accumulate, we packed up and rolled on.

I too had had enough exploring, although I can usually, after some rest, bounce back if it's warm. The cold definitely puts the kabosh on my exploratory enthusiasms.

I'm parked between two behemoths. One is an older model bus, perhaps a former Trailways or Greyhound. It fired up its generator a few minutes ago to, I suspect, run their heater; it's getting chilly. The other is a late model whatever with "slides" and a trailer -- for their atv? 

It's not as cold as Utah. And it warmed up nicely this afternoon. I'm hoping by tomorrow afternoon, if it doesn't rain, I'll be able to have a baaaahth. (It's been cloudy all day. High clouds rather than rain or snow though.)

Watching the emotional aspects emerge are, for me, a whole nuther dimension of our relationship. I keep thinking about your letter to: one of my therapists. In *Getting To Grace,*  Ms. Boyle describes how her low self-esteem influenced her behavior; it made her work overly hard to be liked. What you said about me developing my sexual abilities resonated similarly. Would you talk about that? I'll never know if I was able to elicit an erotic response from her and I haven't a clue as to her feelings about polyamory. Were you to "wax eloquent," your writings might inspire envy as well as satisfaction.

Robert Motherwell - Process

Ah, polyamory. Departing Albuquerque to meet with She of the Capri all the while continuing intimate conversations with the one in Nevada. Michelle reminds me it's a new phase.

I had a strong commitment to disembarking -- I was sure I'd reached the "last stop." As strange as the changes feel, my cat-like curiosity won't let me "quit." 

From The Collected Writings of Robert Motherwell edited by Stephanie Terenzio:

"I begin a painting with a series of mistakes (psychic automatism, artful doodles).  The painting comes out of the correction of mistakes by feeling…ultimate unifications come about thru modulation of the surfaces by innumerable trials and errors…in a state of quickened subjectivity.”

“The artist is constantly … relating and rupturing relationships.  His task is to find a complex of qualities whose feeling is just right — veering towered the unknown and chaos, yet ordered and related in order to be apprehended.”

Will I Hear Your Voice Today?

 

I was reading How We Die by Nuland. 

Near the back he talks about the progression from the family doctor to the specialist. The main difference, he says, is how specialists have dissociated from their patients. He describes what he calls The Riddle, the patient's illness and how solving it has become the focus. The patient is just a "thing" in need of fixing, and she, the specialist, has the tools. 

Close by he gives a several-pages-long description of what a well-lived life might look like, citing Maurice Herzog and his ascent of Annapurna as an example. 

Among the team was a film-maker, Marcel Ichac. This 15-minute segment on Youtube is Part 1, in French without subtitles.

I think it was also in How We Die that I saw mention of The Snow Leopard by Peter Matthiessen. 

Matthiessen had recently lost his wife to breast cancer and when he left to go climbing, he told his 12-year-old son he'd be home for Thanksgiving. I'm not sure, but I seem to recall he didn't make it.

 In all three books each author acknowledges that NOTHING but the relationships matter....except, of course, the landscapes, the birds, flowers, animals (maybe not ticks).

Will I hear your voice today?

ADDENDUM: 13.Dec.2022

In March of 2020, seven months before I wrote this post, I had a severe heart attack. A transradial catheterization disclosed my three main arteries were blocked and could not be stented. I was advised to undergo bypass surgery at my earliest convenience. 

After deciding NOT to have surgery, I began preparing to die. How We Die, along with many other books, were part of my preparations. Microdoses of LSD, so far about every three to four months, have been an ongoing element.

I can't say I'm any more ready to die, but I now see that mountain-climbing is not necessary to a fulfilled life...in case you were wondering.

Should you have questions, my email address is at the bottom of my profile.