Thursday, November 3, 2011

The Taos Nuns 11/3/11

There were six nuns on their way to the Mission at Ranchos de Taos in their VW bus. (This happened in the ‘60s.) As they were going over the Taos Gorge (900+ feet above the Rio Grande) the one driving was enjoying the view so much she missed the turn. The three in the front had their seatbelts on and lived; the three in the back didn’t; they died.

When they got up to heaven (a mythical place with unending orgasms) St. Peter met them at the gates. He apologized for the delay, saying, “Unfortunately, you’ve come on a day when, in order to get in, you have to answer a question.”

The three nuns looked at each other, shrugged and the first one stepped up.

St. Peter had a stern look as he asked, “What was the name of the first woman God (capitalized as a concession to christians) created?” The nun smiled and replied, “Eve.” And as that was the correct answer, the gates swung open, heralds sounded their trumpets, rainbows filled the sky and with bluebirds twittering, the nun strode up the boulevard into never-never ending....heaven.

So the second nun steps up. St. Peter gives her the hairy eyeball and in a peremptory tone designed to convey the seriousness of the situation asks, “What was the name of the first man God created?” 

“Adam” she replies. And as with the previous, the gates swung majestically, everyone harked to the Harold's, and bluebirds tittered while confetti and ribbons added to the glory.....and she joined her sister.

So now it's the third one’s turn. St. Peter’s countenance is a bit more beneficent. He looks at the nun sympathetically and puts it to her: “What was the first thing Eve said to Adam?”

The nun is a bit taken aback. Sheepishly, she asks St. Peter if she can have some time to think about it. He agrees to an hour.

She goes off and cogitates. Her hour up, she returns to where St. Peter is waiting.  Having had no success with her ruminations she is decidedly hangdog. As she approaches him she says, “Boy, that’s a hard one.” And the gates swung open, the heralds & bluebirds etc....

Don't forget the Alboline!

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